Fauxcahontas Elizabeth Warren’s Racial DNA Analysis

As I was happily listening to Jonah Goldberg rejoin the Ricochet podcast, which I highly recommend, James Lileks issued a brilliant and hilarious suggestion about Elizabeth Warren, the Democrat challenger to Scott Brown’s Massachusetts’ Senate seat. If you don’t know about the Native American scandal, please catch up so that you can enjoy the hilarious twitter hashtag game at #ElizabethWarrenIndianNames. Lileks said that he wanted the scandal to continue because so far only 1/32nd of Warren’s racial makeup was in limbo, and that leaves 31/32nds to fill in some other ethnicities.

As it happens to be, Elizabeth Warren called me up right at that moment and asked that I put the prodigious and rigorous laboratory at my whim to settling once and for all, what her racial makeup is! What a coincidence!

After a very careful examination of the DNA sampling taken from Warren’s spittle under the most strict standards of science and Aztec mysticism, Sooper Mexy Labs would like to proudly present our results:



And to put icing on this cake – Elizabeth Warren DOES have ancestors that rounded up Native Americans for the Trail of Tears! Just incredible.