GOP Texas Welcomes Democrats Looking to Turn State Blue in Humorous Letter
The Democrats have announced their intent to turn Texas into a blue state by 2016, and the GOP has responded [emphasis added]:
Welcome to Texas!
Statement from the Republican Party of Texas Chairman Steve Munisteri regarding launch of Battleground Texas, an Obama campaign effort to turn Texas blue by the next Presidential election.
“Texas recently has welcomed hundreds of thousands of political and economic refugees from far off lands, seeking a new home and better opportunity in the oasis of liberty known as Texas. Recently, a team of liberal Obama campaign insiders joined this migration. We thought we’d be hospitable to these friendly competitors by offering some tips and facts they may find useful for assimilating into what, for them, must seem like a strange and foreign land.”
- If politics doesn’t work out, you might want to visit Dallas, Houston, Austin, Fort Worth or San Antonio – 5 of the nation’s 10 best cities for good jobs.
- Get Texas residency quickly to avoid paying state income tax. Even though we don’t agree with your politics, we do believe that you are the best judge of how to spend your own money.
- When offered a tamale, you need to remove the corn husk before eating the delicious meat wrapped inside.
- Be sure to visit with some of the world’s smartest engineers at NASA. Their space exploration efforts have resulted in fantastic scientific discoveries and many useful inventions, including healthier baby food, advancements in breast cancer diagnoses and farther flying golf balls. Maybe when you’re done, you can call Ohio and recommend they send their retired space shuttle to Texas, where it belongs.
- Don’t sit cross legged while wearing spurs.
- Texas Republicans have elected more minorities to statewide office in the past 19 years than Democrats did after controlling the state for over 100 years. The list includes Al Gonzales, David Medina, Eva Guzman, Wallace Jefferson and Dale Wainwright to the Texas Supreme Court, Elsa Alcala to the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals, Victor Carillo and Michael Williams to the Texas Railroad Commission. And, Texas’ first U.S. Senator of Hispanic descent, Ted Cruz.
Texas is doing just fine with our low taxes, limited government and personal freedoms. We think it’s just a matter of time before you realize we’re doing things well here and when you do, invite you to join the dozens of Democrat elected officials who switched to the Republican Party in the last year. In fact, just this last week, we welcomed 3 more former Democrats to the GOP.
I would have rather heard about Democrats eating their tamales with the corn husk attached, but otherwise, how nice of the GOP!!
— Rep. Party of Texas (@TexasGOP) February 27, 2013