How The PandaCam Became a PandaSCAM
I know you’re all happy as statist little welfare-dependent clams that the government is back online, but one of the worst results of the shutdown is being sadly overlooked. It is the horror of the truth behind the National Zoo Panda-cam.
It began innocently enough – the aftermath of the shutdown hit the panda bears, and it hit them hard.
Panda kicked out on the street!! Is that what you Republicans want, you inhuman monsters!? #PandaCam pic.twitter.com/IvExTYG2Q7
— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) October 2, 2013
Pandas hardest hit.
But as I perused the scenes on the Panda-cams some more, I noticed something… strange..
Wait a minute… Something's not right here… #pandacam pic.twitter.com/7G3HrYTMjT
— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) October 2, 2013
These were secret transmissions obtained by the sooper-mexy staff, and it appeared that the pandas were unaware that we were watching:
I dunno… that doesn't look like a real panda to me… Could it be that the #PandaCam is actually… a #PandaSHAM?! pic.twitter.com/aOIs3o98N5
— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) October 2, 2013
Say it ain’t so, Panda-cam!!
It's a lie… the #Pandacam was a lie this whole time. Damn you National Zoo and your deceptive #PandaSham!! pic.twitter.com/m4EVLmVoyt
— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) October 2, 2013
Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
~~~~
Two weeks later, after spending an inordinate amount of time on a psychologist’s couch, I thought I had recovered. I thought I was ready to welcome the Panda-cam back into my life.
I was not prepared for what was about to happen.
I don't understand. #Pandacam pic.twitter.com/uu1V2xeJjx
— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) October 17, 2013
The Panda-cam was back on, but odd and confusing images met my eyeballs once more.
.@barackobama what did you do to the #PandaCam you monster!?? https://t.co/SomND8hCdb
— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) October 17, 2013
What is going on? I can’t take this! I need to call my therapist…
We're too late. We're too.. late. pic.twitter.com/wxB3XRXhUw
— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) October 17, 2013
Oh my panda!! Who did this to you?! Why, Gaia, why?!?!?
I will never be the same again, Panda-cam.