Politics

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So THAT’S What Happened! Obama Sure He Suffered Many Concussions Playing Football

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In what is sure to keep presidential historians up at night, Obama admitted that he had recently drawn up from the depths of his fractured mind the memory of playing football and receiving so many concussions that there’s no doubt he is no mental state to lead a Grrrl Scout Troupe, much less the greatest nation on Earth.

Even among his most devoted of Obama cult adherents, those in the highly respected objective news media, there is some doubt about this confession, given that this is roughly about the three billionth time that Obama has taken a political issue and made it all about himself. One wonders how he’ll manage to do that if he ever starts pulling for transgender rights. Oh wait, there’s that. 

The implications of having back-to-back presidents with concussed brain meat are far too horrendous for anyone to behold, so we hope that Hillary’s 2016 hopes go down inflames fueled by gasoline-doused pantsuits.

UPDATE:

My followers are hilarious:

Millionaire Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Says Internet Criticism as ‘Bloody, Dehumanizing’ as War

  • BigGator5

    W- What?!