the 2010 Sooper Awards Ceremony!

Ok Gringos, Latinos, and various other races! For the New Year, we have a fantastic guest blogger to help me out with this most important of all events… the Sooper Awards Ceremony! Please give a hand of applause to Prudence Paine! Hopefully this will be an annual event, as we impart awards to political events of this last year through the rosy-colored lens of the year previous! Confused yet? Me too! Let’s roll!

First up….

THE BEND-OVER BARACK AWARD

Last year, we saw a slew of Obama bending over backwards, forwards, and all over the place in order to placate our international detractors. He bowed to the Japanese Emperor, deeply bent for the Saudi King, and even made obeisance to the Tampa mayor. Fortunately for our weak stomachs, his prostrations before the unions and tort lawyers went un-photographed.

This year, the Bend-Over Barack Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Mid-Term Election of 2010!

[surprised applause]

Yes, that’s right. The “Election of Recovery,” as we like to call it around SooperMexican Central, was a deep repudiation of all the slings and arrows that our fair president has flung at us, the common rabble, from atop his ill-gotten, gilded throne on Pennsylvania Avenue. The unwashed, bitter-clinging masses have grown tired of his budget-obliterating spending, his vindictive, arrogant attitude, and his flaccid, inept execution of his elected obligations.

While his unapologetic bending over for foreign potentates and domestic opportunists took mere seconds, we hope and pray that this latter bending will continue well into the 2012 election!

NEXT!

THE STIMULATE AMERICA AWARD

The Obama administration got off to an aggressive start, manhandling the public assets in the most egregious way in the Great Stimulus Boondoggle of 2009. Joe Biden is still working on counting all the waste, fraud and abuse that was shipped from the public coffers to FOOs (Friends of Obama) around the world. Yes, world—-as in funding, say, a $832,200 genital-washing study in South Africa to stimulate the US economy.

This year, the Stimulate America Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Transportation Safety Administration!

[applause, while removing shoes and belts]

Yes, the TSA has gone far beyond the call of duty—-and the 4th Amendment—-for getting up close and personal in their efforts to stimulate the public’s peace of mind by groping all their bits and pieces. This time, Janet Napolitano is in charge of keeping the list of all the terrorists she catches with explosives in their pants. Of course she won’t catch any, because terrorists have myriad ways to go through all TSA procedures without having their bomb materials detected.

At least she’s done an excellent job keeping up the pretense that government-mandated sexual assault of the American public will keep us safe, while giving perverts and Gloria Allred a thrill. Just what a Secretary of Homeland Security is supposed to do.

OTRO MAS POR FAVOR!

THE PIMPIN’ AIN’T EASY AWARD

In 2009, we saw the beginning of the end for our favorite anti-American, government-subsidized community organization organizing the community for social injustice: ACORN, aka the Atheist Commie Organization for the Redistribution of NeoSocialism. The unlikely and surprising architects of its demise were the spunky and gaudily dressed James O’Keefe and his saucy accomplice, Hannah Giles. You all know the story by now, so let’s fast forward to the awardee for this year….

and the Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Death of the DREAM Act!

[sleepy applause]

In one of the most obvious and detestable shows of political pandering in recent memory, Harry Reid and the congressional Democrats concocted a bit of political theater for the birds – mashing up the freshly plucked wormy legislation we call the DREAM Act in their mealy mouths and force-feeding their gluttonous, self-serving constituents, the Hispanic supporters that kept a few of them in office.

Luckily for our stalwart Republic, this hastily written bill was only half-heartedly pushed by our Leftist friends, just enough to secure another election cycle’s worth of pigmented votes without actually effecting any change for the downtrodden serfs to whom they give only lip service.

Harry Reid out-pimped James O’Keefe by whoring out the Latin vote, taking it for all it’s worth, and spanking it on its bottom as he kicked ’er to the curb! Good job, Harry!

ORALE!

THE TWO-FACED JANUS AWARD

In ancient Greece, some citizens adorned the top of their doorways with the image of Janus, the double-faced god, symbolizing that every entry is also an exit. In 2009, it would have been appropriate to decorate the entrance of the Senate with the gnarled, wrinkly, grotesque image of Ben Nelson, leader of the Blue Dog Democrats, who promised to uphold their moral objection to the federal financing of abortions by refusing to vote for ObamaCare. Pro-life supporters wasted much effort calling to urge them to stick to their guns, but they chose to stick out their hands instead, accepting sleazy payoffs once Barack named the right price to purchase their principles.

For 2010, the only comparable competitor for the Two-Faced Janus Award is….

[opens the envelope]

The lame duck GOPers!

[applause as feather confetti flutters down]

After scoring an unprecedented victory in the 2010 elections, seizing the House of Reps and evening up the Senate, the Republicans decided to act as if they had been struck with amnesia, teleported themselves back to November 4th 2008, and eagerly re-assumed the role of defeated losers.

Once again, the GOP filled the Christmas season with the essence of lame. The American public gave them a mandate to reject the socialist, budget-busting, impotent policies of the Democrats, but the Republicans behaved like a cheap date, hardly even bothering to feign resistance while granting Obama another nearly trillion dollar stimulus bill, as described by Chuck Krauthammer.

wait a minute.. hey..

what the…

KANYE WEST?!?!

“YO… Lame Duck Republicans… I’m really happy for y’all racists, and I’mma letchoo finnish!! But the 1994 GOP Congress was one of the best betrayers of an election mandate of all time!!

…OF ALL TIME!!

oh geez…

Give me that microphone back… weirdo..

*anyway*

At least good ol’ Ben Nelson teased us a little before screwing us, but the GOPers made all the right noises, and gave it up to Barack only weeks later. Then to add insult to injury, they let him pass his ridiculous START treaty, allowing his sycophantic press to reenact the leg-tingly adoration and unearned esteem they lavished upon him two years ago.

Congrats, GOP. You sold out the country, but you won a coveted Janus award. Keep it up, and in two years, you’ll find out how easily an entrance can also be an exit.

Wait, There’s MORE!

THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN ACTION FIGURE AWARD

In 2009, Barack Obama chin-jutted his way through the dense jungle of prescient criticisms of his inexperience, arrogance, and unpreparedness. Still, he held out the dim candle of historic hope, and like voting moths to a flame, the American public flitted and followed him towards the radiance he claimed was the light at the end of the tunnel.

And still the gaudacity of hope sustained the hope-springs in the heart of man – earnest-sounding promises were made and swallowed, and everywhere a cult of Obama sprung up, selling icons of our savior borne of mystery.

As we all know, a prophet is always derided in his own hometown, and so this year, this Revelatory Icon Award goes to….

[opens envelope]

Alvin Greene!

[applause and fist bumps]

South Carolina’s leading Democrats howled when the unknown, unemployed man became their nominee to the US Senate seat, and they vigorously decried the legitimacy of his nomination. He beat the establishment democratic nominee without any campaigning, without any yard signs, prompting some to doubt whether he honestly won the nomination. While running for a senate seat in the greatest country in the world since its inception 6,000 years ago, Alvin was also fending off prosecution for a felony-obscenity charge, wherein he is accused of showing pornographic images to a unwilling 18-year-old woman. In interviews, he was as disjointed as Crispin Glover on the David Letterman show, and at his lowest (highest?) point, he actually said that his answer to solving his state’s budget woes was to sell action figures of himself.

What better exemplar of the fall from glory that Barack Obama has experienced than that of a man who actually thinks he can save the government budget by producing little action figures of himself? This is the delusion that the American voter was sold unawares, and now is waking up to.

2009 began with a praised political figure pretending to fulfill the image of an action figure. 2010 ended with a failed political figure sticking to a ridiculous hope that his image as an action figure might save him from his ineptitude and political inexperience. Oh, also there was Alvin Greene….

…AND Finally!

The Meghan McCain BOOBY PRIZE

Last year, Meghan McCain gifted the world with a booby prize in the form of a Twitter avatar filled with boobage and, appropriately, a biography of Mr. “15 Minutes of Fame”, Andy Warhol. She protested the avi-inspired guffawing heard around teh internets by claiming she hadn’t meant to be sexy at all—-she always looked busty and bimbo-ish. When that induced ROFL hilarity, she huffily threatened to delete her account, then apologized and promo’d her new column.

Without further ado, the Meghan McCain Booby Prize passes on to the 2010 winner…

[opens envelope, upside down]

Keith “MeggyBigMac” Olbermann!

[stunned silence…uproarious applause]

Yes, the Vegas bookmakers all had Georgia representative Hank Johnson as the odds-on favorite for his concern that adding more military to the US territory of Guam would cause the island to tip over.

But no, in a late year rush to snag the award, Olbermann has gone out of his way to become a master loco tweeter: Melting down, blowing up, quitting his account in a bluster and, like his award’s namesake, returning to the glory of public abuse and mockery.

To seal his emergency bid for the award, Olby’s ratings went to the bottom of the tank and inspired a series of wild twitrants against his nemesis and ratings powerhouse, Fox News. Thusly, he clinched the award for 2010‘s Booby of the Year and shall henceforth be known as OlberBoob.

…se acabo!

Thank you all for joining us on this whirlwind tour of some of the more embarrassing and brain aneurysm-causing events of this last year through the eyes of 2009’s events! Once again, I’d like to thank the brilliant guest blogger, Prudence Paine! Visit her site, and follow her on twitter! You won’t regret it because she mostly just retweets my tweets! Well, have a great New Years Eve! And may God continue to rain blessings on us all, and on this, the greatest nation on God’s green Earth!!!

(more exclamation marks!!!!)

-el sooper

Islamists Threaten Christmas Attacks

Unsettling news from confessions obtained by Iraqi authorities from captured insurgents warn of various Christmas attacks on American and European soil. This comes from at least 73 insurgents, some of whom represent the, “main structure of the Al Qaeda organization in Iraq.”

There are two observations to be made here:

1) We have to give some credit to the Iraqi Authorities for netting these terrorists – isn’t this a sign that our strategy of training the Iraqis to police themselves, fight terrorism within their own borders, and eventually leave a stable self-sufficient state is working? Of course, no one knows how much of those operations were actually American or coalition operations that were credited to the Iraqis for the sake of political expediency. Hopefully it’s more of the former than of the latter.

2) As documented in his excellent book, Courting Disaster: How the CIA Kept America Safe and How Barack Obama Is Inviting the Next Attack, Marc Thiessen shows how the move to outlaw the use of advanced interrogation techniques in order to obtain information to thwart covert terrorist operations is the best way to assure those success of future attacks. The Iraqis didn’t just kill these terrorists, but captured and interrogated them – does anyone believe those captured easily gave up all the information they had in their diseased, corrupted minds? Someone interrogated them, and I imagine they didn’t use the nicest interrogation techniques.

Maybe a conclusion can be drawn from these two observations. Unless I’m missing something (please inform me in the comments if I am), it’s very likely that the captured were given over to the Iraqis exactly for the reason that the interrogation techniques Obama won’t use to defend America are the best method of actually preventing further terrorist attacks.

As Thiessen notes, Obama favors sending drones out to kill terrorists rather than capture them and face criticism from the radical anti-American left in his own party. This prevents us from getting knowledge from them that might prevent attacks that aren’t being made in the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan, but planned and executed within America’s borders. Further, it doesn’t really take away the supposed moral problem with enhanced interrogation techniques, and may actually be less morally tenable.

The failed Swedish plot was foiled only through the incompetency of the bomber, and not through the competency of our police and military policies. Same for the underwear bomber last Christmas, and the Shoe-Bomber. This year the FBI were able to foil the Oregon tree-lighting bombing plot , and thank God for that.

But how long will we be so lucky?

I hope to God that we are able to make it past this holiday season without any successful terrorist attacks. If we don’t, it won’t be thanks to any improvement in defense policy from the Obama Administration, but due to luck and Providence.

The Straw that broke the Donkey’s Back!

The Tax Deal compromise that was struck between Obama and the GOP has passed. The debate has, and will continue to rage about this deal – whether the Republicans stabbed their teaparty supporters and other voters in the back with this seemingly backroom deal, or whether they took one for the team, for the sake of extending economy-saving tax cuts…

My own opinion is that it was not the best deal, but a good one. One of the more surprising results is the absolute vitriol with which the Left has tossed upon Obama and each other over the compromise. Some joyful highlights:

Smiling Lefty Loon, Rachel Maddow

Lawrence “BiPolar Schizophrenic” O’Donnel’s Pro-Deal attack

My personal favorite, Kieth Olbermann’s anti-Obama Meltdown!!

On this, I think we can all agree – the Tax Deal has driven a wedge between the liberal media, Obama, and the congressional Democrats. This is mostly due to liberals awakening to the truth that most Conservatives have known for a long time – Obama is peevish, self-centered, arrogant, and mostly inept.

On the defensive side, we have similar problems. As Hugh Hewitt points out, the GOP made a huge mistake in drawing up the deal without consulting the TeaParty and other Americans that gave them such a great victory in November. I reassured my pessimistic right-wing friends that this GOP seemed to understand that they had not won on their own merit, but based on the strength and passion of the TeaParty. If the GOP continues to make such backroom deals in this manner, they will lose their most important support.

One conservative critic whose opinion should always be taken heavily is my favorite, Chuck, the KROWT! Krauthammer! He characterizes this deal as basically another enormous Stimulus Package, and that Obama has swindled the Republicans. On the contrary, another conservative intellectual I greatly admire, is Michael Medved, who goes as far as to say that Krauthammer is wrong, and that this was the best deal we could get, and that it’s best for the country, despite the unfortunate spending compromises.

This tax deal will go down like the first Stimulus – conservatives and liberals alike will argue over it and define each other (RINO!! DINO!! Neo-CON!) by whether or not they like it or hate it. I think it’s safe to say the bill wasn’t a complete win for either side, and on the periphery, both sides mishandled the PR aspect of this bill. What will determine who will succeed beyond this point is whether Barack Obama or the GOP leadership will be able to reach out to their base and mollify those angered by this deal these next two years…

(credit goes to the brilliant Prudence, at @prupaine for improving my mediocre idea of “the straw that broke the camel’s back”, to “the straw that broke the donkey’s back”!)

Here’s a good RECAP of all the different liberal reactions to the tax compromise..

Muslims don’t hate us for our freedoms, but for our yodeling

In Austria, a man was fined 700 euro for offending his Muslim neighbors because he yodeled while they were praying. To be fair, yodeling can be very annoying… but this is ridiculous.

The Muslim lobby has really figured out how to dismantle the West piece by piece, incrementally – they must have learned a lot from our Fabian Socialist friends on the left…

That’s a lot of moolah to be fined for because you were just so happy you had to yodel!! Apparently, our happiness offends Muslims too.. says a lot about their religion.

Go to the story here

As a friend commented.. “what’s next? demanding Heidi wear a burka to cover her pigtails?” hehe..

best comment so far?

Latino CONSERVATIVES Unite!

There’s been a lot of talk lately about real collaboration and organizing of Hispanics among themselves. There are rumblings of an emerging “Tequila Party”, though I don’t think the title lends itself to credibility, and all around there all sorts of brands of Latinos, left and right, calling for our representatives to defend our interests as an ethnic group. While I applaud much of this, I think an important distinction has to be made between how the Left considers us, and how the Right considers us.

The liberal left coddles and panders to ethnic groups, telling them how special they are and that they’ve been victimized by America through institutional, historical and individual racism. It is appealing to the worst in human nature – to pride, envy, covetousness, gluttony and laziness.

This is one of the many reasons I’m proud to be a Conservative Latino. The Right doesn’t say, “you’re different, join us so that you can always be different, and we’ll toss you money!” Rather, it calls on all people to join in a mutual respect and admiration for the principles of the American experiment that has blessed so many for over 230 years. It offers us the opportunity to enjoy liberty and prosperity earned according to our own interests and abilities, and encourages us to pay the obligations we owe to those that came before us, fought and died for us to do so.

In this, the Conservative Right says, “Join us”, not because you are different, but because fundamentally, we are very much the same.

It doesn’t appeal to me as a Hispanic, but as a human being, as a Man with certain duties arising out of the nature of Man. That doesn’t mean I’m not proud of my heritage – I very much am. But I will always choose to belong to the group that respects me primarily as a man, as a Christian, and incidentally as a Latino.

E. Pluribus Unum, Baby, and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

Oh yeah I almost forgot the whole point of this tirade. I hope to start contributing to the organization of Conservative Latinos according to the precepts named above. I offer this Mexicanization of the GOP logo as evidence of this. I might use it as the insignia for my own nefarious Conservative operations, or start a casual group of hispanics dedicated to reporting and responding to Latino political issues. Dunno yet. Stay tuned!

UPDATE: All of my products have been taken off of the service I was using because they are snowflakes and hate right-wing Mexicans. Also, they stole the money I had saved up through the sales of my designs!! Nice, huh? #EffZazzle

Original post:

… and because I AM a capitalist, the logo is available in a T-Shirt!! If you buy it today, Thursday December 9th by midnight Pacific time, you get $6 off!!! And free shipping if you spend more than $35 on any zazzle products! Stop drooling on your keyboard and go buy ALL my products! Remember, customization of any of the images is available, just email me at SooperMexican@Yahoo.com!

NO on the DREAM ACT!

The Senate is expected to take up the DREAM Act on Thursday morning (12/9). Please call these ten undecided Senators and tell them to vote no on the DREAM Act:

===focus on the MURK!======

Alaska

Murkowski, Lisa

DC: (202) 224-6665

Local: (907) 271-3735

Louisiana

Landrieu, Mary

DC: (202) 224-5824

Local: (225) 389-0395

======== FOCUS ON COLLINS!! ============

========HARRY REID specifically mentioned waiting for her vote!!!===

Maine

Collins, Susan

DC: (202) 224-2523

Local: (207) 622-8414

==================================================

Snowe, Olympia

DC: (202) 224-5344

Local: (207) 622-8292

Michigan

Stabenow, Debbie

DC: (202) 224-4822

Local: (313) 961-4330

Missouri

McCaskill, Claire

DC: (202) 224-6154

Local: (314) 367-1364

Montana

Baucus, Max

DC: (202) 224-2651

Local: (406) 657-6790

North Dakota

Dorgan, Byron

DC: (202) 224-2551

Local: (701) 250-4618

Conrad, Kent

DC: (202) 224-2043

Local: (701) 258-4648

====also focus on JOE MANCHIN!====

West Virginia

Manchin, Joe

DC: (202) 224-3954

Local: (304) 264-4626

SOURCE: www.NUMBERSusa.com and thanks to @OddLane on Twitter… for all the info!

Barack’s Titanic USA

It really seems like Obama has learned the wrong lesson from his first two years. His stimulus didn’t work, the Republicans are barking as if they won’t let spending increase and will cut the budget severely, and his answer to our problems seems to be to use the power of the federal bank to create money that doesn’t exist, which will steal value from every dollar in our pocket, and in our bank accounts. The danger is inflation or hyper-inflation domestically, and a currency war with our trade partners, either of which could be disastrous. If this what Barry is reduced to when he’s caught himself in a corner, we may be in for some darker days ahead…


Another idea from the inimitable Alo, follow him on his twitter account at @AKONSEN!

To understand what quantitative easing is, check out this video. (it’s NOT the popular cartoon video)