MexyCommittee Unanimously Votes To Award Ted Cruz “Honorary Mexican” Status, Revokes Bill Richardson’s “Hispanic” License


Former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson declared that Ted Cruz isn’t a real Hispanic because of his political views. A prominent online Latino organization has declared Bill Richardson’s Hispanic license void, and unanimously declared Ted Cruz, formerly Cuban, an “Honorary Mexican” to certify his Hispanic status.

Yesterday, on Cinco de Mayo, I convened an emergency meeting of the MexyCommittee at SooperBlog secret headquarters to discuss and debate the issue, and what our official position might be. After many carne asada tacos, many more beers, and a few games of “hit the ping pong ball into the sombrero,” the MexyCommittee unanimously voted the following:

RESOLVED: That Bill Richardson is a pendejo and shouldn’t be telling Cubans they aren’t Hispanic on account of their political positions.

RESOLVED: That Bill Richardson, otherwise known as William Blaine Richardson III, shall hereby be stripped of his Hispanic license, and any and all benefits afforded to him as a Hispanic be immediately revoked.

RESOLVED: That Ted “proud Wacko Bird” Cruz’s reciting of Shakespeare and other various inspiring speeches during the “WorldWide Wrestling Filibuster” was bad-ass.

RESOLVED: That Ted “the Manic Hispanic” Cruz, formerly a Cuban, shall be awarded the status of “Honorary Mexican”, along with all the customary rights, responsibilities, and benefits, as listed below.

Unanimously approved by the MexyCommittee, this Cinco de Mayo, in the year of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Orale!!!

The sage MexyCommittee made their decision based on the incontrovertible fact that Ted Cruz melanin count puts him squarely in the “cappuccino” category of the Sooper Hispanic Skin Color Scale. 


For those gringos and gringuettes eager to earn their own “Honorary Mexican” certificate, read the official rules here.