VIDEO: Move Over Hillary! Don Sterling’s Girlfriend Declares, ‘I Will Become The President of The United States!’

If you thought Hillary Clinton was going to have a free ride into the White House, you’re gonna be very surprised when President V. Stiviano assumes office! If you don’t know her by that name, she’s the girlfriend of embattled Clippers’ owner Donald Sterling – the very woman he was speaking to when he was recorded saying that he didn’t want black people at his basketball games.

From Mediaite:

When paparazzi caught up with V. Stiviano, Donald Sterling‘s girlfriend and the woman on the other end of Sterling’s racist rant, Stiviano went on an odd tangent about how one day, she will become a future president. She said, “One day I will become President of the United States of America, and I will change the legislation and laws.” Stiviano kept going on for a bit, bringing up “modern day history [and the] civil rights movement” for some reason.

Well hey, at least she didn’t allow four Americans to die in a terrorist attack in order to protect her political career.

Watch Jon Karl Battle it Out With Jay Carney Over New Benghazi Email Revelation

I wouldn’t be surprised if ABC’s Jon Karl were audited by every single government institution in existence after this epic clash with Press Secretary Jay Carney over the emails showing White House meddling in talking points. True to his profession, Jay does his best to deflect, but Jon definitely lands some punches in the exchange.

AUDIO: Gun-Grabbing Juan Williams Probably Didn’t Like His Wife’s Response After Having Her Car Stolen

The wife of vehement gun-grabber Juan Williams had an awful experience this last weekend that made her respond in way most Americans would – but he probably didn’t appreciate it.

Juan described what happened while being a guest on the Lars Larson show on the 28th (at about the 8 minute mark in the audio above):

“By the way, remember when we started this conversation you asked me how I was doing, and I said something interesting happened this weekend,’ and I thought of you.

“Let me just quickly tell you before you have to go to break – which is, that my wife went to the gas station and while she’s trying to put the credit card in, some guy rushes by her, gets in the car and drives off with the damn car! And steals it. And the reason I thought of you, of course, was that then her response was, ‘I wish I had a gun!'”

To this of course, the conservative host responded, “Yes! Thank you Mrs. Williams! God bless her, you should buy her a gun, Juan!”

While I take no pleasure in what must have been a very frightening episode for Williams’ wife, it sounds like she wasn’t hurt. At least Williams is honest enough to admit what is probably somewhat of an embarrassing moment for him. Let’s hope his wife gets that gun.

Not Even Your McDonald’s Happy Meal is Safe From Ridiculous Politically Correct Attacks

If you’ve often thought that McDonald’s Happy Meals were a main obstacle preventing the coming of a glorious future where human beings have progressed beyond artificial heteronormative standards of gender imposed by the patriarchy on our girls and boys, you’d be absolutely right.

But thankfully, in mankind’s darkest hour of need, there are harridans of histrionic hysteria that are waiting in the woodwork to protect our children from nature’s imperialist gender constraints.

Connecticut high school student Antonia Ayres-Brown wrote about her heroic struggle at Slate:

In the fall of 2008, when I was 11 years old, I wrote to the CEO of McDonald’s and asked him to change the way his stores sold Happy Meals. I expressed my frustration that McDonald’s always asked if my family preferred a “girl toy” or a “boy toy” when we ordered a Happy Meal at the drive-through. My letter asked if it would be legal for McDonald’s “to ask at a job interview whether someone wanted a man’s job or a woman’s job?”

She was initially dismissed, as she should have been, but she pressed on, and eventually she took it to the Connecticut Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities, who, as they should have, also dismissed the insane demand. Unfortunately, we live in a brave new world where corporations are all too willing to spinelessly acquiesce to the most denigrating of requests

In this case, the budding liberal child declared victory when it was reported that a McDonald’s posted this sign:

“When a customer orders a happy meal you must ask ‘will that be a My Little Pony toy? Or a Skylanders toy?’. We will no longer refer to them as ‘boy or girl toys.’ ”

Thank goodness genderless children will no longer be indoctrinated into thinking that being a boy means anything or being a girl means anything. No doubt, society will be much better when women are indistinguishable from men. And mankind’s greatest monster, the Happy Meal, will no longer stand in the way of that promised paradise of androgynous freaks.

‘Jiggle Tests,’ Mandatory Lap Sitting, and ‘Man Show’ Abuse – Why Five Cheerleaders Are Suing an NFL Team


Obama’s Top Secret Social Media Defense Plan Revealed!

We at the Soopermexican blog pulled a lot of strings in order to get this precious piece of top secret information about our pooch-chomping president’s very formidable Social Media security defense plans. We only ask that our readers not pass along these most secret plans to our geo-political enemies, whether they be Al-Qaeda, Vladimir Putin, the Belgians, or even the dastardly zombie virus infected ants.

I’m sure we can sleep soundly, knowing that we are so capably protected by our socio-economic and intellectual superiors.

Some other Sooper Graphics:

Infographic: The One Fact That Proves Raising The Minimum Wage Will Hurt America

My Infographic of the “Short Guide To The Middle East”

The Sooper Guide to “White Hispanic” Skin Color for the Gringo Media!

INFOGRAPHIC: The FACTS About Gun Violence in America

[MexyEditor’s Correction: An earlier version of the graphic had the defcon stati reversed in number. The staffer who screwed this up has been beaten, fired, and tossed out into the street. We regret the error.]

‘Jiggle Tests,’ Mandatory Lap Sitting, and ‘Man Show’ Abuse – Why Five Cheerleaders Are Suing an NFL Team

Five Buffalo Bills cheerleaders have filed a lawsuit against the team’s cheerleading squad management company after alleging employment abuses while working for the team. The action has caused the management company to suspend all cheerleading activities for this season, meaning the Bills will go without their beloved “Jills” cheerleaders.

One cheerleader spoke to the NY Post about that treatment:

I have always been a huge Buffalo Bills fan and it was always a dream of mine, since I was a little girl, to be a Buffalo Jill… What I had hoped was that it would open many doors, for this to be an experience of a lifetime.

Ridiculously Intrusive Contract Requirements

For instance, how much bread to eat at a formal dinner, how our nails needed to be clear polish or manicured, our hair done a certain way — this was not only when we were working and in uniform, but in our personal life as well. We were instructed on how to act off the field. And it got pretty gritty too — how to wash intimate areas.

From the Jills’ Etiquette for Formal Dining, for instance, for soup, it states: “Dip the spoon into the soup moving it away from your body until it is about two thirds full, then sip the liquid without slurping from the side of the spoon without inserting the whole spoon in your mouth.” [Laughs] Hearing myself say it just sounds ridiculous.

Monitoring of Social Media

They ended up taking photos from these girls’ Facebook that they thought were inappropriate, and putting up a slideshow in front of all of our peers. Their way of informing us what to do and how to act, and things to post and not post was to embarrass us and publicly display these pictures of what not to do.

A Weekly “Jiggle Test” You Don’t Study For

We had to stand in front of our coach in our uniform in rows of five as she stood before us with a clipboard and had us face forward as she reviewed our bodies.

We turned around, had her look at our backside, and then turn forward again and she had us do jumping jacks in front of her to see what parts of our bodies were jiggling. That’s where it got it’s name — the Jiggle Test.

The next day, you receive an email which was categorized by different body parts and let’s say, she thought you had a stomach issue for that week, you got a check. If you had two checks, you weren’t field ready. If you had three checks, you were benched for the next game.

Questionable Compensation Practices

We only got $35 an hour — for a maximum of two hours — for an occasional public appearance. Maybe you got one every three months — it was basically whoever answered that email the fastest is who got that paid appearance, and they were not offered often. Maybe two girls at most per event.

We did charity appearances that we were not getting compensated for — and we were OK with that. But Jills management was getting paid by these charities. We don’t understand where that money went, because it didn’t go to pay us.

Innappropriate Golfcart Seating

There was a golf tournament, a mandatory event. Girls wore their uniforms, however there was a dunk tank at the event on the golf course where girls were in bathing suits.

We had to sign up for different jobs or tasks during the tournament — some had to do the dunk tank, some girls had to be auctioned off. People were bidding for which Jill would ride along with them in the golf cart. basically there were four seats to a golf cart — basically four men. So where was this Jill to sit? Well, in the golfer’s lap. It was very inappropriate.

The ‘Man Show’

There were definitely uncomfortable situations where I felt that security should have been offered to us. For instance, there was something called “The Man Show,” [at a local casino] where girls had to walk around in their bikinis. And there were men who may have drank a little too much and got a little brave, and were in very close proximity to these ladies.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was kinda ridiculous – the team is just responding to market realities. When they have open try-outs, many thousands of women apply because there’s such prestige associated with being a cheerleader. Well, that means you give up expecting very good compensation when there’s so much supply of labor, and so little demand.

However, after reading what they’re being put through, it really seems like too much. I would rather follow a team that has some respect for their cheerleaders than one completely taking advantage of them. I really hope that the NFL takes some steps to make sure their cheerleaders aren’t subjected to abuse.

California Bill Would Force Schools to Lecture Children on the ‘Racial Significance’ of Obama’s Presidency



California Bill Would Force Schools to Lecture Children on the ‘Racial Significance’ of Obama’s Presidency

California’s children will receive only the best educational opportunities, including thorough indoctrination into the “racial significance” of Barack Obama’s presidency, if a new state bill passes.

From CBS Sacramento:

The bill by Assemblyman Chris Holden, D-Pasadena, asks state education officials to include Obama’s election in history and social studies standards laying out what students are expected to learn.

High school history students already learn about recent presidents. But Holden says lessons about Obama also should focus on what his election meant for racial equality and civil rights.

He said on the Assembly floor that the 2008 election “should not just be a mere footnote within textbooks, but rather focus on the significance of Americans overcoming our nation’s past and acknowledging that Americans are moving in the right direction.”

Of course, California can take this bold step because children are so well educated in California (43rd in the country in math, and 42nd in reading) that teachers have plenty of time to add racially charged lessons to their curriculum.

On the other hand, perhaps the legislators tried to come up with any of Obama’s successful policies, came up short, panicked and fell back on his only qualification to be president – his race. Whatever happened to judging people by the content of their character?

As commenter Raloree put it on the CBS article:

“I think it is a great idea as long as they include: Fast and Furious, Benghazi, the IRS Scandal and the racial bigotry of the Attorney General Holder, and the completely failed foreign policy. Oh and do not omit the perpetual campaigning and lavish vacations and hundreds of golf outings. That would round out this presidency.”

Of course, that might be too much like critical thinking for the California educators, who are revising their social studies curricula to fall in line with Common Core standards. So teachers can now be forced to teach legislators’ version of history to students, who will then have to take tests on it.

SooperPodcast #87: Russian Exceptionalism and Hamster Teeth

This episode @DefendWallSt passes out drunk a few times while discussing Russian Exceptionalism, @SaintRPH talks about the Louisiana militia he’s raising to go save the Bundy Ranch, and @Soopermexican says things in Spanish!

You people don’t really read the show notes,so just go the show here.

Opening song from Soundtrack to Idiocracy: Nuevos Tiempos by Pueblo Cafe

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VIDEO: Watch ‘Megadeth’ Frontman Mock Obama’s ‘F$#@ing Mom Jeans’ Onstage!

Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine was caught on video by a fan at their April 19 concert in Tucson, Arizona mocking President Obama’s penchant for wearing “mom jeans.” And he used some rather colorful language in doing so!

“Imagine if I was your president… Oh boy! I’ll tell you what – there would be no f**king mom jeans on this guy!”

He then added, “Don’t forget to vote.”

Obama has been widely ridiculed for his “mom jeans” ever since he threw out the first ball at a Major League All-Star baseball game in 2009 wearing the wideset pants. He’s gotten so much grief over it that he actually defended his pants policy to Ryan Seacrest on his radio show, but it doesn’t look like Mustaine thought much of his excuses!

The Secret Bloody History of Earth Day!

This Is What The Patriarchy Looks Like!

There are plenty of shirts out there to show you what feminism looks like, but here’s one to show the world what the patriarchy looks like. You like sammiches? Doesn’t matter. Make one for me while I wear this shirt. Because Patriarchy, that’s why!!!

And if you’re not so much about the patriarchy, how about a t-shirt of a honky cracker joining the gringo army?! I mean seriously what else is there.



Congress Overwhelmingly Passed Anti-Terrorist Bill by Ted Cruz, and Obama Signed it – But Says He Won’t Enforce it

In a bill aimed at keeping an Iranian terrorist from serving at the U.N. in New York City, Congress overwhelmingly voted to pass the Ted Cruz sponsored legislation, but Obama says he won’t enforce it, even after signing it.

Here’s Obama quoted in the Washington Examiner:

“Nevertheless, as President [George H.W.] Bush also observed, “curtailing by statute my constitutional discretion to receive or reject ambassadors is neither a permissible nor a practical solution.” I shall therefore continue to treat section 407, as originally enacted and as amended by S. 2195, as advisory in circumstances in which it would interfere with the exercise of this discretion.”

Obama frequently criticized President George W. Bush for such signing statements during his 2008 campaign. “Congress’s job is to pass legislation,” he said, as The Daily Beast recalled. “The president can veto it or he can sign it.”

Isn’t it amazing that when Americans object to the expanding power of the federal government, and especially the powers of the Executive branch, we’re told that the law is the law, but when it’s expedient for Obama, legislation is just “advice.” It’s especially brazen when Obama himself campaigned against the very thing he’s doing now.

And here I thought he’d broken all the promises he made, he keeps finding more ways to show his arrogance and lawlessness.

A San Francisco Billionaire Just Bought Obama and Delayed the Keystone XL Pipeline

While the media is obsessed with the Koch brothers this campaign season, a billionaire hedge fund manager from San Francisco just bought off the White House to the tune of $100 million in order to delay the Keystone XL pipeline decision.

From Fox News:

The Obama administration once again has punted on a final decision for the Keystone XL pipeline, announcing ahead of the holiday weekend it is extending a key review period indefinitely — a move that could push off a determination until after the midterm elections. 

Republicans, as well as red-state Democrats who want the proposed Canada-to-Texas pipeline approved, slammed the administration for the delay. Democrats even threatened to find ways to go around the president to get the project approved. 

“It’s absolutely ridiculous that this well over five year long process is continuing for an undetermined amount of time,” Sen. Heidi Heitkamp, D-N.D., said in a statement.

What you won’t hear about in mainstream media is how Billionaire Tom Steyer drove the decision by promising to spend $100 million to help Democrats in the midterm election who help defeat the project:

With the decision pushed back probably past the election, this allows the Democrats to be for or against the decision depending on their election chances and how badly they need Steyer’s support. Given that a majority of Americans want the project to go through, this is good news for vulnerable Democrats. Meanwhile, American jobs suffer, and whatever economic impact the project might have had on Russia is ignored for the sake of Obama’s political gain.

#87: Russian Exceptionalism and Hamster Teeth

This episode @DefendWallSt passes out drunk a few times while discussing Russian Exceptionalism, @SaintRPH talks about the Louisiana militia he’s raising to go save the Bundy Ranch, and @Soopermexican says things in Spanish!

You people don’t really read the show notes,so just go the show here.

Opening song from Soundtrack to Idiocracy: Nuevos Tiempos by Pueblo Cafe

Follow Our Contributors!

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