Breaking: Cap’n Crunch is a Lawless PIRATE!!


I never even stopped to consider just what makes Cap’n Crunch a real “cap’n”?!?! That’s the difference between real journalists like Jake Tapper and errant bloggers like myself. He asks where we merely assume:

A few hours later, the invidious “cap’n” responded:

Uh, buddy, if you’re going around calling yourself a “Cap’n” but you have no idea what Navy you’re associated with, I’m pretty sure that makes you a lawless pirate!!! I’m shocked and disappointed. Next we’re gonna find out that Hello Kitty isn’t a cat, or Count Chockula is just an emo wannabe vampire.

What’s the world coming to?!?!

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