Foreign Policy

Norks DENY Involvement, Offer Joint Effort To Find True Hackers, And the Real O.J. Killer

In a headline that’s sure to fuel the tinfoil hat conspiracy theorists, the official word of Pyongyang from our favorite chubby little dictator is denying any involvement in the hacking of SONY studios.

From Reuters:

In its first substantive response to the accusation, the isolated North Korea said it could prove it had nothing to do with the massive hacking attack.

“We propose to conduct a joint investigation with the U.S. in response to groundless slander being perpetrated by the U.S. by mobilizing public opinion,” the North Korean spokesman said.

“If the U.S. refuses to accept our proposal for a joint investigation and continues to talk about some kind of response by dragging us into the case, it must remember there will be grave consequences,” the spokesman said.

Earlier, the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation announced it had determined that North Korea was behind the hacking of Sony, saying Pyongyang’s actions fell “outside the bounds of acceptable state behavior”.

Obama said North Korea appeared to have acted alone.

According to my sources,  the reason North Korea wasn’t able to deny the hacking until now because they were chasing the starved rat that fell out of the wheel of their fax machine. That’s not true, I made that up. North Korean officials have also offered to help O.J. Simpson find the real murderer of his wife. OK. I made that up too.

SO this is either the stupidest “false flag operation” in all of human history, or they’re lying. I guess if we invade North Korea in the next few hours we’ll know which it is…

Russell Brand Gives a Lesson in ‘How to Debate Immigration Without Knowing ANY FACTS About Immigration’