Citing ‘Triggering’ Concerns, Feminist Convention BANS Clapping, Replaces With ‘Jazz Hands’
I’m very glad that the feminists of the Oxford Women’s Campaign have finally brought to light the scourge to society that is clapping loudly. We courageous sufferers of “sensitivity to hands whacking against each other syndrome,” or STHWAEOS, can come out of the darkness, into the light, and fear no clapping:
This was in response to some of my fellow STHWAEOS sufferers who spoke up bravely:
And MURMUR triggers too!
Also chatting, chatting is a definite no-no for us who suffering from deep chat sensitivity:
And whooping, stop the damn whooping you insensitive monsters!!
Of course, this inspired a lot of Twitter mockery by insensitive jerks who don’t understand what special snowflakes feminists are, and how they’re going to change the world as soon as clapping, whooping, chatting and murmuring are all banned so that they can leave the house safely.
And the mockery is probably gonna trigger them too:
If any hot feminists need a hug to recover from the Twitter trolls, oh wait. There’s no such thing as a hot feminist, forget it.
Damn misogynists, they’re probably bought and paid for by the Patriarchy! [Patriarchy, if you’re reading this, I have a PayPal donation button here]
I am woman hear me roar, but not clap because that freaks people out. Probably roaring is out too.