Citing ‘Triggering’ Concerns, Feminist Convention BANS Clapping, Replaces With ‘Jazz Hands’
I’m very glad that the feminists of the Oxford Women’s Campaign have finally brought to light the scourge to society that is clapping loudly. We courageous sufferers of “sensitivity to hands whacking against each other syndrome,” or STHWAEOS, can come out of the darkness, into the light, and fear no clapping:
Some delegates are requesting that we move to jazz hands rather than clapping, as it's triggering anxiety. Please be mindful! #nuswomen15
— NUS Women's Campaign (@nuswomcam) March 24, 2015
This was in response to some of my fellow STHWAEOS sufferers who spoke up bravely:
Can we not clap? Pretty anxious and its putting me on edge also distracting. #nuswomen15
— ellie b-wasteman (@elliebweezy) March 24, 2015
https://twitter.com/AbbieAbbkebab/status/580450226626015232
@nuswomcam please can we ask people to stop clapping but do feminist jazz hands? it's triggering some peoples' anxiety. thank you!
— OUSUWomen'sCampaign (@womcam) March 24, 2015
@NUS_Vonnie plz can we ask people to stop clapping (instead do consensus / jazz hands) as the clapping is triggering some people's anxiety?
— OUSUWomen'sCampaign (@womcam) March 24, 2015
Abled people – if you have to scroll past a trigger warning or content note, or do jazz hands instead of clapping, IT DOESN'T AFFECT YOU
— FeministAspie (@FeministAspie) March 24, 2015
And MURMUR triggers too!
PLEASE quieten down – the murmuring is making things inaccessible for a lot of delegates #nuswomen15
— Aisling (@twoshadesofhope) March 24, 2015
Also chatting, chatting is a definite no-no for us who suffering from deep chat sensitivity:
Please try to limit chat on your tables when delegates are speaking on motions, it can be distracting for others #nuswomen15
— NUS Women's Campaign (@nuswomcam) March 24, 2015
And whooping, stop the damn whooping you insensitive monsters!!
Whooping is fun for some, but can be super inaccessible for others, so please try not to whoop! Jazz hands work just as well #nuswomen15
— NUS Women's Campaign (@nuswomcam) March 24, 2015
Of course, this inspired a lot of Twitter mockery by insensitive jerks who don’t understand what special snowflakes feminists are, and how they’re going to change the world as soon as clapping, whooping, chatting and murmuring are all banned so that they can leave the house safely.
No wonder liberals hate Texas… the clapping alone in the song "deep in the heart of Texas" would give their feminists PTSD. #nuswomen15
— el Sooper ن (@SooperMexican) March 24, 2015
LOLOLOLOLOL. You're still not getting laid dude. https://t.co/7B4G0tREUi #nuswomen15 @HUURichard
— RB (@RBPundit) March 24, 2015
*Chases you while clapping* MT @sarahgillborn: Anyone in the self-care room? In need of a bit of feminist support if possibleee! #nuswomen15
— Josh Smith (@ThisIsJoshSmith) March 24, 2015
MOTION PASSED! #nuswomen15 pic.twitter.com/fyDtTi8V45
— Lord Skip VC (@LordSkipVC) March 24, 2015
Some delegates are requesting that we whistle like Gizmo off Gremlins rather than clapping, as it's triggering anxiety. #nuswomen15
— Wistful Troubadour (@GodfreyElfwick) March 24, 2015
MT @sarahgillborn People on the #nuswomen15 hashtag mocking anxiety, you're not cool and you're not funny. pic.twitter.com/qa4Un9Imgb
— jon gabriel (@exjon) March 24, 2015
And the mockery is probably gonna trigger them too:
u have nothing better to do than mock feminists trying to create safe spaces but they're the ones worthy of ridicule? ok trolls #nuswomen15
— Daisy (@_daisyporter) March 24, 2015
Passive aggressive tweeting is not cool. Talk to people about why you disagree on stuff, don't be unnecessarily mean. #nuswomen15
— Aisling (@twoshadesofhope) March 24, 2015
If any hot feminists need a hug to recover from the Twitter trolls, oh wait. There’s no such thing as a hot feminist, forget it.
Damn misogynists, they’re probably bought and paid for by the Patriarchy! [Patriarchy, if you’re reading this, I have a PayPal donation button here]
Can all speakers/delegates please remember to use content warnings if they're going to talk about sensitive issues. Thanks x #nuswomen15
— NUS Women's Campaign (@nuswomcam) March 24, 2015
I am woman hear me roar, but not clap because that freaks people out. Probably roaring is out too.
