SOoperMattCast #1: The Robert E. Lee Bobby Ay-Bear Podcast With Matt and Hapax

In this inaugural episode of the dim-witted minions having their own podcast, they start talkin’ in a durn Southern dialect so durn bad that we carn’t unnerstann’em, Jessica reveals that she is addicted to eye makeup videos, but wears NO eye makeup, Matt talks about punching Nazis in the face, how his dad brings a rubber hose into stopped elevators, “Ted Screws” over the Deadspin, and that Sooper would marry Ted Screws if gay marriage were legal, which it is, but Matt’s drunk and also stupid, and we don’t know who Jerry Clower is, and there’s still tapes down there?! Why Houston people hate Louisianans, and how they’re both sooper excited about the [falcons] defeating the hated [patriots] this year in the sooper-Bowl!! OMG it’s so Mexciting!!!!!!

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Here are some of the stories these morons didn’t talk about at all:

• Two Christian Syrian Families Detained at Philadelphia, Sent Back To Middle East
• SooperPodcast #235! The Gang All Joins The Trump Cult!
• Liberals PROVE Pro-Lifers RIGHT While Attempting To Demonize Trump
• If We’re Going to Deport Immigrants, START WITH ME! – NY Gov Andrew Cuomo
• Watch Me Predict EXACTLY How Kellyanne Conway Spins Sean Spicer’s Lie
• SooperPodcast #234! Sooper-Inaugural Greatest Ever Crowd Always WINNING
• ‘Do You Trust Intelligence?’ ‘Not So Much’ – Trump 5 Months Ago

Opening song from Soundtrack to Idiocracy: Nuevos Tiempos by Pueblo Cafe