Trump implies the FBI and DOJ helped rig the election, his followers want them dismantled

El Presidente Trumpo implied today that the FBI and the Department of Justice colluded with the Democrats to steal the election from him. He told Maria Bartiromo that he doesn’t have a clue where Durham is or why they’re not looking into his accusations of massive massive election fraud.

UPDATE: I got a little grief over the headline and my description, but Scott Faust, Twitter layabout, actually transcribed it in order to prove the point:

There it is. Thanks Scott!! END UPDATE

Some of his followers are running with it:

https://twitter.com/wonderfulwizz/status/1333130822493224961

https://twitter.com/Bravehart500/status/1333073359404486657

Some are calling for the DOJ and the FBI to be dismantled.

Always there are accusations of the worst kinds of treason in all caps with a lot of exclamation points:

https://twitter.com/OurAmericanLife/status/1333135712951164931

BUT… these are very fringe. They had “CIA and FBI” trending but with just a few thousand retweets. I think most people are coming to accept the results of the election with just a few nuts holding out for some miracle where the military comes in and arrests all the Democrat. Which is what every conspiracy theory has been promising for more than 5 years. Sad!

Then there’s this:

Makes sense to me.

She hasn’t made much yet:

https://twitter.com/zenxv/status/1332688154395107328

About 500 pounds off 5,000 that she is requesting.

UPDATE: On Tuesday, the Department of Justice responded.

Attorney General William Barr said Tuesday the Justice Department has not uncovered evidence of widespread voter fraud that would change the outcome of the 2020 presidential election.

His comments come despite President Donald Trump’s repeated claims that the election was stolen, and his refusal to concede his loss to President-Elect Joe Biden.

In an interview with The Associated Press, Barr said U.S. attorneys and FBI agents have been working to follow up specific complaints and information they’ve received, but they’ve uncovered no evidence that would change the outcome of the election.

He won’t like that. END UPDATE.

Here’s the YouTube video of Trump’s comments to Bartiromo:

All the weird stuff about Sidney Powell’s ‘Kraken’ lawsuits against Georgia and Michigan

So Trump’s former lawyer Sidney Powell dropped “The Kraken” on Georgia last night and on Michigan this morning. The lawsuits allege a massive scheme to steal the election from Trump, and demands that the court order the electors to change their votes and give them to Trump.

Apparently Twitter is banning people from being able to read the documents. Or at least that’s what many are claiming. I didn’t find a problem with getting the links.

Here’s the full lawsuit against Georgia, it’s 104 pages:

Here’s the full lawsuit against Michigan:

Now here’s the weird stuff.

Apparently, the teen who used to be a Republican then flipped to be a Bernie-loving Democrat that then flipped BACK to Republicanism is one of the lead plaintiffs:

Just to give it even more credibility.

And another plaintiff, the Cobb County GOP chair now says he didn’t agree to be a plaintiff, but he won’t withdraw now because it’s Thanksgiving.

A lot of people were making fun of the document because of all the typos in it:

https://twitter.com/marceelias/status/1331993982415626243

But there’s a QAnon answer to that as well:

Aha. Very clever. You would think the media wouldn’t need to be tricked into covering it if it ends up with the arrests of Barack Obama and Joe Biden and all of the Democrats, but well, uh, yeah. I guess.

Then there’s this theory – the Kraken is actually a cyber warfare program that has been collecting information on the deep state and it will be all the evidence Trump needs to defeat the Democrats and put them all in prison:

https://twitter.com/DHochleutner/status/1331238157300457473

One of the guys who believes this cockamamie theory is none other than the great Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy, who loves Trump and used to be hooked on crack cocaine before he changed his ways and became a zillionaire.

So that’s all the weird stuff surrounding the Kraken lawsuits. If I find more, I will update. Happy Thanksgiving!!

SooperPodcast #422! The Typotoad and the Pieapocalypse!!

THIS WEEK we have a short podcast as it is the day before the giving of thanks. We talk about the impending pie-apocalypse, and also the typotoad. It’s a very special thanksgiving edition of the sooperpodcast!! With toe-smashing Jess and el Sooper special Sooper!! She also says YPOU, and we don’t explain why we say that over and over. Also there’s conspiracy theories and exhortations and recriminations! WOW!!

ALSO!! DON’T MISS the great great list of Podcast listener nuts!! They’re all here, mostly!!!

ALSO!! We now have a patreon – so you have to PAY to listen to the extra podcast, suckers!! HAHAHAHAH!!! Go there and give us money. We entertain you.

BUT Patreon members only get early access to the extras – you can go to the page right now and listen to extras from the prior podcasts!! WOW!!!

Like… the ORIGIN OF REBAR-FACE!!!!

AND… the GREAT GRATE KATCHUP DEBATE!! This is a good one.

Trump has released the KRAKEN…. from his legal team.

Well if you were still hoping that Sidney Powell might prove a massive Venezuelan voting fraud scheme stole the election from Trump then you won’t enjoy this statement from the Trump campaign releasing the Kraken… from their legal team.

What’s odd about this is that they’re not firing her. They just put distance between themselves and her as if.. she was never on the team.. at all. As if they didn’t just have a looooong press conference with her making incredible accusations against the Democrats AND the Republicans actually:

Meanwhile, this lady is still on the legal team:

https://twitter.com/JennaEllisEsq/status/1330346436760903682

So. There’s still hope. I guess.

Giuliani legal camp calls Tucker Carlson a ‘globalist’ that is ‘owned by the syndicate’

So Rudy Giuliani had a media briefing today. There was a lot there. But, whatever you may think of the substance of the thing, I just want to focus on how the Trump campaign to overturn the election results has turned on the Daily Caller.

There’s no surprise that Giuliani and company would mock CNN, everyone expects that:

And they have it in for Fox News too, that’s not surprising at all. But I found it interesting that Giuliani lashed out at the Daily Caller, which has been pretty supportive of Trump:

Giuliani rips into the Daily Caller reporter for “dragging out” the case for their claims.

Then later, on Tucker Carlson’s show, he appears to criticize Sidney Powell, one of the big-time lawyers who has said that Trump won a landslide and the election was stolen from him.

Carlson says that she hasn’t provided any evidence at all that one single vote was changed by the ballot machine software from Biden’s column to Trump’s column. But he’s hopeful that she might.

She didn’t seem to be very happy about what Carlson said. Here’s what she responded:

https://twitter.com/TonyDLeonardi/status/1329614837412995080

Here’s the statement:

“Apparently Mr. Carlson missed the news conference today. I would continue to encourage him and all journalists to review all the materials we have provided so far and conduct their own investigations. Evidence continues to pour in, but a 5 minute television hit is not my focus now.  Collecting evidence and preparing the case are my top priorities.”

And then a Daily Caller reporter says this:

Which, Tucker indeed said he did, in the segment. So it doesn’t quite make sense for her to respond as if he was being unfair.

Then Powell really unloads:

Soooo why the nutty ire? Carlson wasn’t even saying she was wrong. He said he was hopeful that she might have some evidence to prove the massive conspiracy she is alleging that would completely overturn our entire Democratic tradition. But, because he said on his show that she hasn’t produced any evidence of her claims, she turns on him and rips into him for being a “globalist,” which is about the worst most evil epithet that can be made on Tucker Carlson’s show. Kinda weird.

Here’s the entire press conference with Giuliani and his crew:

California Gov. Gavin Newsom caught red-handed being an elitist hypocritical jackass

Well California Governor Gavin Newsom was caught being a rich elitist hypocritical jackass about social distancing as the coronavirus epidemic worsens.

Even as he was issuing more lockdowns to Californians and telling them to shut down their family gatherings for Christmas and Thanksgiving, this idiot was out having ritzy meals at one of the most exclusive restaurants on Earth.

Here’s what I imagine that looked like:

But we don’t need to rely on my active imagination, because someone actually snapped photos of Newsom at his fancy schmancy meal!

BUT, as Jen Van Laar pointed out over at Red State, he tried to lie about what he did, even as he was apologizing!!

When Newsom “apologized” Monday for attending the party, he claimed it was outdoors.

As the photos depict, three of the sides of the “room” were solid, and the fourth wall was a sliding glass door. That door was closed part of the time, the woman told Melugin, and the people weren’t very socially-distanced….

Now here’s the thing. I think it’s dumb to point at this hypocritical things in order to defy mask guidelines. Just because Democrats are douchebag hypocrites when it comes to wearing masks and following social distancing guidelines doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to ignore those things.

However, it severely undercuts Newsom’s credibility when he’s out there telling people that they can’t have dinner with their families. Maybe instead he should show some leadership and avoid obvious displays of hypocrisy rather than show how the wealthy have it so much easier than the rest of us during the coronavirus pandemic. Pendejo. 

SooperPodcast #421! Defund our butts!!

THIS WEEK we talk about some nefarious butt defunding, then some sneering condescension, and then el Sooper says that the psephologists have some splainin’ to do. Then el Sooper mexsplains why it is that some Mexicans chose to vote for Trump over the Bidened one, and then he gives his theory about the big fish and the small fish. And Jess yells at Georgia. It’s the woadie-cast! No capes were stolen nor were nuts threatening to choke anyone. Go listen now!!

If the audio player doesn’t load up in your browser, click HERE to go directly to podomatic!

Here’s the Election article that we talked about. Don’t read between the lines. Just read the lines.

ALSO!! DON’T MISS the great great list of Podcast listener nuts!! They’re all here, mostly!!!

ALSO!! We now have a patreon – so you have to PAY to listen to the extra podcast, suckers!! HAHAHAHAH!!! Go there and give us money. We entertain you.

BUT Patreon members only get early access to the extras – you can go to the page right now and listen to extras from the prior podcasts!! WOW!!!

Like… the ORIGIN OF REBAR-FACE!!!!

AND… the GREAT GRATE KATCHUP DEBATE!! This is a good one.

VIDEO: Officers take down Antifa guy who then cries for someone to call his mom!

Well, pretty crummy day for Republicans on Saturday. But every raincloud has a silver lining. In this case, it’s the video of an Antifa guy being taken down by police and then begging for someone to call his mom:

I dunno about you but I found that hilarious.

Here’s more about the guy arrested:

My sources tell me his mother is not pleased.

Maybe Hispanics voted against Democrats because you idiots kept calling us “Latinx”

I have been a Latino American of Mexican descent since before I can remember, and one of the dumber things I have seen in my life is how so many Americans, mostly white “woke” liberals, use the term “Latinx,” to refer to us.

Now that the election is coming to a close and Democrats are completely stunned that Trump increased his vote among Hispanics, maybe we should visit this recent development in how white liberals tell Hispanics what to think and what to say.

For those who need a primer, the term “Latinx” is supposed to replace “Latino” and “Latina” in order to be more inclusive of transgender Latinos and Latinos, and other gender designations as well.

But that is absolutely ludicrous.

Firstly, we don’t do that in English with any other ethnic group. We certainly don’t do it with African-Americans, or Asians, or anyone else. So why are Latinos targeted with this bizarre new designation? As far as I can tell it’s simply an accident of language. Because “Latino” is derived from Spanish, it has masculine and feminine versions. That’s it.

Secondly, polling shows that the VAST majority of Latinos do not accept this designation and they do not identify as Latinx at all. In a poll conducted by ThinkNow Research in 2019, only 2% of Hispanics in the United States preferred the “Latinx” designation to describe themselves. Keep in mind, ThinkNow is a left-wing group and they were dismayed when they saw the results.

To be fair, it was a small poll of only 500 U.S. Hispanics, and I would really love to see more polling on this issue from other, more objective organizations.

So why are so many national news outlets bamboozled into a phrase to describe U.S. Hispanics that they themselves do not prefer? I would venture to say that they are following the lead of the fringe far left progressive “woke” crowd screaming at them that they need to be more “inclusive.”

But if the term Latinx isn’t how U.S. Hispanics describe themselves, then how is it “inclusive” for white people to slap them with a term that they do not prefer?

Well, it isn’t. And it shows just how news outlets and other institutions aren’t actually listening to minority groups, they are listening to the loud fringe of progressive extremists who pretend they represent minorities, when they do not represent us and our interests at all.

Maybe that’s something that liberals and Democrats should think about as they consider how their “blue wave” crashed on the rocks of reality this election….

BREAKING! Biden pulls ahead of Trump in Georgia in latest overnight vote count….

Well there it is. Biden has pulled ahead in the official count in Georgia for the presidential race:

But there’s a lot left to go:

On the other hand, Biden just needs to win one state of four, while Trump needs to win all four in order to win his re-election campaign. So.. it’s tough. Here at 5:15 in the a.m. two days after the election.

There is where it was a few hours ago on Thursday:

With sixteen electoral votes, if Georgia goes to Biden, it could be all over.

So… get ready, it’s coming down to the wire…

Here’s a video about the latest development:

 

Trump said he had damaging info on the Democrats that he would release at the right time – here’s why he hasn’t done it yet

Well here we are. It’s two days after the election and we have no clear winner. And we were told over and over that Trump had the evidence to prove that the Democrats were evil traitors who were lying and abusing the system to cheat the president out of his rightful power to straighten the government.

In fact, Trump said himself that he knew about the secret confidential government information that would bury the Democrats, he said it way back in NOVEMBER OF 2018!!! Here’s what he said:

In a wide-ranging, exclusive interview with The Post, President Trump said Wednesday that if House Democrats launched probes into his administration — which he called “presidential harassment” — they’d pay a heavy price.

“If they go down the presidential harassment track, if they want go and harass the president and the administration, I think that would be the best thing that would happen to me. I’m a counter-puncher and I will hit them so hard they’d never been hit like that,” he said during a 36-minute Oval Office sitdown.

The commander-in-chief said he could declassify FISA warrant applications and other documents from Robert Mueller’s probe — and predicted the disclosure would expose the FBI, the Justice Department and the Clinton campaign as being in cahoots to set him up.

“I think that would help my campaign. If they want to play tough, I will do it. They will see how devastating those pages are.”

WOW. Those are insane accusations. If he did that, he would be able to lock people up. And he would win his re-election campaign with no problem at all because all of his accusers would be behind jail. And as president, he HAS THE POWER TO REVEAL ANY INFORMATION AT ALL THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS!!

In fact, there’s an entire conspiracy theory built around the hope that he would do this exact thing and send all our treacherous enemies to prison!!!

But it didn’t happen. Damn. Why didn’t it happen?

El presidente promised that if they harassed him, he would EXPOSE the massive conspiracy at just the right time!!!

But Trump told The Post he wanted to save the documents until they were needed.

“It’s much more powerful if I do it then,” Trump said, “because if we had done it already, it would already be yesterday’s news.”

Oh right. Yesterday’s news.

You mean, like… two days ago. When the election was conducted? Maybe that would have been the best time do it?

But he didn’t. Why didn’t he do it?!?

I have the only reasonable answer for you.

Because he lied.

That’s it.

He lied. 

And Republicans and conservatives have swallowed this stupid lie and regurgitated it for more than two years only for Trump to pull the football from underneath their kicking foot.

Maybe we should stop putting all our faith into fallible earthly leaders and instead believe in our own power to make our lives better, and believe in God to help us make our lives more satisfying and happy. Maybe. 

Eh… screw that it’s easier to believe that JFK Jr. is coming back from the dead to arrest Obama and send all our satanic enemies Guantanamo Bay for a thousand years….

The most enjoyable tweets from the day before the 2016 election

Listen I’m not gonna tell you that I think Trump is gonna win again. And I ain’t about to tell you that I think he’s gonna lose. I just don’t know. But I DO KNOW that there are a lot of very very satisfying and funny tweets from four years ago when people were pretty arrogantly assured that Trump would lose. In this time of division and possibly pre-civil-war, I bring you the best tweets to laugh over as we all stockpile weaponry ammo and water for the inevitable race war.

Fox News predicted 274 for Clinton, 215 for Trump and 49 in the tossup states. Trump ended up with 304 electorals, which is more than 215 and all the tossups. Hillary ended up with only 227.

Here are some more maps:

Clinton 301 to Trump 237.

Daily Kos:

Clinton 323 to Trump

Jim Messina ran Obama’s 2012 campaign:

Also false, didn’t happen:

This is weird:

Did the KKK give up this year?

Yeah, that didn’t happen.

That didn’t happen either.

Yup. He did.

OK I have to admit this is pretty clever, but… didn’t work:

On the stock market – massive selloff?

NOPE. It jumped up in value and has steadily increased until COVID hit.

On Melania’s future:

Not quite.

That’s awkward:

Accurate.

Wait, I didn’t know he actually said this:

https://twitter.com/TeamTrump/status/795728466608029697

Stolen from Pedro’s high school presidential political platform!!

And finally… el Presidente Trumpo was called a racist because he didn’t say Beyonce’s name correctly four years ago:

Guess what. Four years later, he still hasn’t learned to say it correctly!

I guess you just have to elect him to see if he will ever learn to pronounce Beyonce’s name.

Well that was fun. No go read this, it’s good for you.

SooperPodcast #420!! The Knob Posse versus the Possum Mob!!

THIS WEEK we don’t have a Matt yet again. The MATT is gone but we got a JESS and we don’t fight! We have a very pleasant and nice conversation. Jess got a weird phone call and we talk about that, then Jess mocks my election article post. Then we talk about our election results confidence and we do some hack rank punditry about the polling, and we quote the Stirewalt, and we talk about the coming civil war and how it’s not coming, and some emoticon of hope. Then we talk about the plozzma, and Trump’s closing arguments and the Spanish because it’s not pandering when he does it, and also the closing argument Trump tweets,  and a tiny little adorable bitey Trumper zombie, and a pretty amazing drinking game for the podcast. And murdering animal pot poopers. There’s a lot of sneering condescension and also pale faced gringos will be the deciding vote in the election. And that’s the wodie-cast. God bless you peoples. Let’s get this God forsaken election over.

If the audio player doesn’t load up in your browser, click HERE to go directly to podomatic!

Here’s the Election article that we talked about. Don’t read between the lines. Just read the lines.

ALSO!! DON’T MISS the great great list of Podcast listener nuts!! They’re all here, mostly!!!

ALSO!! We now have a patreon – so you have to PAY to listen to the extra podcast, suckers!! HAHAHAHAH!!! Go there and give us money. We entertain you.

BUT Patreon members only get early access to the extras – you can go to the page right now and listen to extras from the prior podcasts!! WOW!!!

Like… the ORIGIN OF REBAR-FACE!!!!

AND… the GREAT GRATE KATCHUP DEBATE!! This is a good one.

Here’s the good news: This election changes nothing.

This election changes nothing.

At the risk of alienating everyone who is saying that this is the most important election of our lifetimes, I think there are a lot of reasons to believe that this election really changes nothing.

Not for you, personally, anyway.

I’m not saying it’s unimportant. I think it’s very important. But let me tell you about your life. Let me tell you how you’re being scammed right now.

You are in control of your happiness, and this election won’t change that.

Yes, of course, if Biden gets elected we move ever closer to socialism and increased government control of our lives. But, it’s not as if we’re going be carted away into FEMA camps tomorrow if he gets elected. It’ll take at least until January for that.

I’m joking.

My point is this. I was told that the election of Barack Obama would usher in the new age of communist control of my life and he would seize the government and it would be worse than East Berlin and the economy would collapse and we would wait in bread lines hours long.

And that didn’t happen. And he had eight years to do it! Now, either he was a very lazy incompetent despot, or some people might have been exaggerating. Maybe.

I’m not gonna tell you that I believe Obama’s regime was great and good, I don’t believe that at all. But I also don’t believe anyone telling me that it’s absolute chaos and abject apocalypse if Biden wins. Because I’ve heard way too many people telling me that for my entire life every single time I get to vote.

Here’s the incredible secret the right wing news depending on your clicks won’t tell you – the liberal progressive far left is disappointed and angry at Barack Obama for not being left enough.

How weird!

Just like the far right Tea Party crowd was so angry at the Republicans for not being far right enough!

Anyone else see a pattern here?

And the AMAZING thing is that THIS IS THE WAY THE FOUNDERS INTENDED FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO WORK.

Yes. They didn’t want the extremists you hate to take over the country. They also didn’t want the extremists that you love to take over the country. They made it very very hard for extremists on either side to seize control. And it’s worked, for the most part. I know this because the fringe extremists on both sides complain about it!

The uncomfortable fact of the matter is that it doesn’t matter who is in charge. Your life has always been your own. If you succeed it’s because you made the right decisions and had personal responsibility for those decisions. If you fail, it’s most likely because you made unwise decisions.

For the most part.

That’s all the founders promised. That’s the incredible miracle that they handed off to their posterity. That’s us, we’re their posterity. That includes me, a son of Mexican immigrants who came here to seek a better life. They found it. And they gave me wonderful opportunity.

And democrats may lessen that opportunity slightly. And Trump may increase that opportunity slightly. But I am indebted to the founders more than anyone else on Earth when it comes to my gratefulness.

So, vote. It’s important. It’s good.

But after you vote, remember that it’s not the most important thing that you will do to achieve happiness. The most important thing you can do to achieve happiness is to fulfill your obligations and your duties to your family and your community and your society.

Be a good husband or wife. Be a good son or daughter. Be a good neighbor. Be a good mom or dad. Go to work. Do what you know you should do. Do that hard work that no one praises. Do it because it’s good, and do it because it will make you happy.

It will make you happy to do that work. That will make your family great. That will make your neighborhood great. That will make your town great. That will make your state great. That will make America great.

Don’t wait for a politician to do it for you. You have the power in your hands right now. Go. Do. It.