Lin Wood says Trump has cleared out the child molestation tunnels in Washington D.C. with explosions

I guess I’m documenting this stuff for whatever horrible thing Lin Wood ends up doing with his army of conspiracist imbeciles.

Here’s the latest insane claim from the pro-Trump conspiracy attorney:

“He’s gonna slay the giant of child sex trafficking, it’s happening now,” says Wood.

“You heard about the explosions in Washington D.C. where the tunnels are located,” he adds, “those tunnels are clean at last and they tell me up there, it’s like a veil of evil has been lifted from that city.”

There was a lot of cheering and applause.

Apparently he is referring to “D.U.M.B.S,” which stands for Deep Underground Military Bunkers, although the acronym doesn’t quite make sense, a favored talking point of these conspiracy morons.

This was at a “Bikers for Trump” rally in South Carolina. They got people to attend by handing out free MyPilllow pillows and doing a raffle for a mattress. And Mike Flynn was there too. At the same event, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell endorsed Lin Wood for the chairmanship of the South Carolina Republican Party.

“Everything is affected by politics,” Lindell said. “That’s why it’s so important that we get people like Lin Wood put in. He’s going to be chairman of the GOP party of South Carolina. We need to get back to where it’s for the people.”

And then Trump endorsed someone else and Lin Wood lost, and now he’s calling Trump a GENIUS for doing so. That’s how you know you can really trust their judgement.

Here are some bullet points from his speech to the dolts at the rally:

  • Everyone at the inauguration were traitors
  • Garth Brooks left the inauguration quickly because has afraid of being arrested
  • “March them outside and you shoot them dead in a firing squad!!
  • “Send those people to hell because that’s where they’re going in due time!”
  • The people at the inauguration are child molesters
  • Mike Flynn is “our George Washington” and Donald Trump is “our King David”
  • Trump is fighting “Rothschild devil-worshippers”
  • Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone through depopulation, especially the middle class
  • Donald Trump is a genius
  • Trump probably won 420 electoral votes, including California
  • The term “conspiracy theorist” was made up by the CIA in the fifties to smear people who connected the dots
  • The CIA is worse than the communists

Apparently “Bikers for Trump” founder Chris Cox is all on board with Lin Wood’s senile absurd campaign. You can tell because they just plastered a “Win with Lin” poster on top of Cox’s tour bus for his ill-fated congressional run in South Carolina.

See how they just painted over the website at the bottom? Cox won less than 10% of the vote in the Republican primary for the South Carolina’s first congressional district in 2020.

Very exciting.

You can watch the entire unhinged idiocy here:

INSANE: Pro-Trump attorney Lin Wood tells old folks that Trump is actually still in charge of the military

In case you had any doubt of whether pro-Trump attorney Lin Wood is actually batshit crazy or not, here he is telling a bunch of desperate brain-addled morons that Trump is still president and the military answers to him:

“Donald J. Trump is still the guy the military will call for the code if they need a first strike. Joe Biden is not the president of the United States,” says the prince of dipshits.

Now there is one old lady who *almost* figures out that Lin Wood is full of shit, almost, but instead everyone applauds and agrees that they’re all just as desperate and stupid as she is.

Lin Wood’s actual explanation is that “He’s cleaning things up.”

Huh? Biden is passing trillions and trillions of spending but Trump is still in charge? How absolutely delusional and senile do you have to be to believe this crap? Apparently none of the laws being passed through Congress have any validity at all? This is unbelievably stupid.

Meanwhile, here’s the last guy who figured out that he was doing way more to “save” Trump’s presidency than Trump himself was willing to do:

AND EVEN Sidney Powell admitted that Trump had all the power and all the resources to save the Republic, and simply chose not to. Kinda treasonous if you ask me. Or maybe all of this is bullshit and even Trump isn’t as delusional as Lin Wood is. Then again, he’s still claiming he won, right?

SooperMexican officially extends Cinco De Mayo Dispensation to gringos celebrating respectfully!

El SooperMexican has benevolently decided to mextend the Cinco De Mayo Dispensation to those gringos choosing to celebrate the holiday somewhat respectfully.

Here is the original proclamation from 2018:

Hello gringos. This is el SooperMexicano. I have called you to this meeting in order to address a very important subject.

Cinco de Mayo.

We in the conservative Mexican community, or I guess I should say “I”, have heard about some embarrassing and demeaning actions by the gringo community over our holiday. Some of you, the more snowflakey kind, are trying to gringo-shame the rest of you into not celebrating Cinco de Mayo because it is “cultural appropriation.”

This is no bueno, gringos.

As some of the more know-it-all gringos of you have noted every year, the holiday is a minor holiday in Mexico, and only came into prominence after beer corporations marketed it to sell Mexican beer to gringos. But who cares?

As Dana Perino said on the Five, “go order a margarita and have some fun!” If gringo Dana can culturally appropriate Cinco de Mayo, then even the most gringo of you people can do it too!!

Thus, el SooperMexicano, as the duly appointed representative of all sooper Mexicans, and with the full fajita powers invested in me by God, hereby grant a full dispensation to all well-meaning* gringos to wear a goofy sombrero, put on a fake mustache, and adopt a really bad Spanish accent in order to get blasted drunk.

I mean we beat the French military, and we’re getting drunk to celebrate it! What can be more American than that?!?

*just don’t be an asshole, ok.

And finally, a collection of the greatest Cinco De Mayo drunken tweets from the SMOTUS:

Now let’s all get drunk and play ping pong.