Out-Of-Touch Elitists: 10 Pathetically Stupid Shopping Mistakes Democrats Made in the SNAP Challenge!
One of the most egregious deficits of logic among the left is their stubborn insistence that Obama has brought back the economy to health, while millions more Americans are on food stamps. Enrollment in food stamps has grown 65% from 2008 to 2012, while spending on the program has more than doubled in the same span.
House Republicans are proposing that $20 billion be cut from the program over the next ten years, which would come to about 2.5% per year – and liberals are going absolutely insane.
Democrats have begun a ridiculous campaign called the “SNAP Challenge” where they try to live on the average SNAP benefit per person. Keep in mind the very first letter of the program – it’s supposed to be supplemental, not the only source of nutrition.
Even so, the Democrats’ pathetic antics in failing at his simple task that many Americans fulfill without assistance has brought on many an occasion for ridicule. Here are the worst and stupidest offenders of their shopping task failure:
10) PUT YOUR GROCERIES IN BAGS, UNLESS IT’S A PHOTO OP
These Democrats are really hamming it up – it’s like they all sat down and watched Shindler’s List before their photo ops. Representative Grisham (D-NM) looks especially pathetic here, but why are none of her groceries in bags? She’s so faux poor, she can’t even afford plastic bags. Poor thing!
We really feel bad for Representative Veasey (D-TX) – apparently he hasn’t figured out that buying and preparing food in bulk is cheaper and more efficient than stupidly buying food for each day that same day.
Who put this genius in charge of the nation’s purse strings?! Get it together, Fort Worth!!
8) GRATE YOUR OWN CHEESE, LAZY! AND TURN ON A D**N STOVE!!
This is so laughably stupid I am just shocked that anyone falls for the fake sob story. Massachusetts is surely proud of Jimmy McGovern, democratically representing everyone in his district that has absolutely no clue how to turn on a stove and make a quesadilla.
Jimbo, splurge on some Jalapenos and veggies, and you’ll have a great breakfast! Oh wait, you want to appear pathetic and stupid because you think Americans are unable to fend for themselves even when the government is paying their way.
Also, get up 2 minutes earlier and grate your own cheese. Saves you 30-50% on the price, but you actually have to get off your butt. Maybe hold off for Uncle Sam to do it for you instead.
7) QUIT BUYING PRE-PREPARED FOOD. DO IT YOURSELF, PENDEJO.
Wisconsin must have been very happy to rid itself of their democrat Mark “Einstein” Pocan, because they shipped him off to the US House of Representatives to flail about ignorantly. First thing he does is buy pre-made burgers – 2 for $6!!
Even when democrats are trying to pretend to understand the poor, they can’t do it!! Not only are these burgers much more expensive than making your own from ground beef and buns, but it’s a brand name pre-made food!! This is getting painful.
Pocan actually was proud of himself because the Boca burgers were on sale! LOL!
6) STYLE TIPS: DARK LIGHTING MAKES YOUR FOOD PICS LOOK EVEN MORE TRAGIC
Another entry from Massachusetts is Jamie Eldridge, State Senator, who really tugged at our heartstrings by retweeting this pic of a SNAP challenger and self identified “Healthcare Leader.” He made sure to pull the shades and make it seem like he’s imprisoned in a gulag. My heart is bleeding for you, black and white ennui food sufferer!!
5) QUIT WHINING THAT YOU CAN’T AFFORD MOUNTAIN DEW
Ok look, soda is bad for you, and Mountain Dew is one of the worst. But don’t sit there and whine that you’re having to drink water – oh you poor thing, how do you manage? Representative Donald Payne Jr. (D-NJ) really tries to elicit sympathy because he couldn’t budget and save 99 cents to buy a liter of Mountain Dew.
For one thing, he could have bought ramen instead of brand name lunch noodles. Or maybe even, horror of horrors, actually prepare something instead of lazily buying something you just toss hot water into. Sweet Quetzalcoatl.
One last option – you could buy kool-aid packets for 15 cents each and make your own. Unfortunately, it would require you to mix powder in water. Wouldn’t want you to strain yourself, Rep. Payne.
4) NO ONE EATS CAMPBELL’S SOUP OUT OF A CAN. ARE YOU SERIOUS? REALLY?!
I have been all sorts of poor in my life and I have never…. ever.. not once… eaten out of a campbell’s soup can. New York City Mayoral hopeful John C. Liu has seen way too many hobo scenes in movies from the fifties because he thinks this tear-inducing picture is representative of the plight of the poor.
Here’s an extra photo op tip, Johnny – don’t try to make people feel sorry for you while you sit in the back of your spacious limousine and force your aide to take a picture of you!
3) USE YOUR BRAIN TO BUDGET A LITTLE AND YOU WON’T NEED TO EAT DRY TOAST
I’m really running out of jokes – these pictures are so obscenely ridiculous and insulting to regular Americans.
Doris Matsui (D-CA) perfectly represents the idiocy currently reigning in my beloved California. So you’re budgeting $4.50 a day and you’re eating a piece of dry toast and one egg? Did you purchase that egg second hand from Representative Donald Payne (see below) and screw up your entire budget? Are we to really believe she couldn’t have doubled up on toast and eggs for a few paltry pennies and stick some cheese in there?
She should be ashamed that she could post this and believe Americans are stupid enough to buy it, but it’s actually working pretty well. Stupid liberals.
2) FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS NOT STUPID, DO NOT SHOP AT WHOLE FOODS
Look, Whole Foods is a great store, but there’s a reason they dysphemistically call it “Whole Paycheck” stores. You don’t shop there if you’re on a budget unless you’re really obviously trying to fail at budgeting. Which is what Matthew Wright is doing:
TWO BANANAS. Look closely – he bought TWO bananas for the same price that I buy a dozen bananas! And ONE apple?! WHY are you buying ONE apple?! Luckily Matt isn’t a legislator – he’s just a dimwitted advocate for “children’s health issues.” He didn’t respond to my spirited criticism.
And the FINAL and GREATEST stupidity committed by a liberal participating in the SNAP Challenge that real Americans absolutely avoid is….
1) DO NOT BE DONALD PAYNE JR.
For my money, you just can’t beat the idiocy that keeps comin’ out of Representative Donald Payne Jr. For his very first day, instead of buying a dozen eggs and boiling one or two for breakfast, the pride of New Jersey actually purchased ONE EGG… for $1.08. ONE. EGG. And his constituents praised him for his “compassion” on his facebook page for it!!!
We are doomed, America, but at least we’ll have a great time laughing at the idiots in charge while our country collapses under their brilliant leadership!
These are just a few examples and don’t come close to exposing the iceberg of stupidity that liberals are dropping in the twitter hashtag #SNAPchallenge. Go see for yourself!
Also, for a more erudite analysis of the challenge, see Kristina Ribali’s great column at Freedomworks, and for a pretty hilarious audio where we utterly destroy the premises behind this campaign, listen to our podcast!
UPDATE: New VIDEO! The First Sooper Mexy COOKING Show!! A Taco-Takedown of the SNAP Challenge!!