Politics

Our great chicken HENocide: The egg conspiracy

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Well here we are March-deep into Trump’s second presidency, and we’re already saying egg prices don’t matter because Biden pulled off this masterful conspiracy theory to screw over Trump on egg prices.

Now, in order for this to be true, Biden would have ordered egg-laying hens to death maybe a month before the election, when he knew that they were not going to be able to pull off the election fraud conspiracy.

That is what implied in a lot of the people saying Biden killed the chickens to screw over Trump, like this one:

Now, there are two problems with this. One, he didn’t do that.

Or rather, to be clear, the Department of Agriculture didn’t commit an emergency act of hen massacres just to screw over Trump. What they did, is kill about 150 million chickens beginning Feb. 2022. This is more than two years before the election. So Biden ordered the death of chickens to screw himself over right before the election?

That doesn’t really make sense, but it gets worse.

If this was a conspiracy by satanists at the Agriculture Dept. then it would have stopped when our hero took office and ran out all of the pedophile hen-killers right?

But, Trump’s Ag Secretary said they are not changing the policy, and also Bloomberg has reported that 13 million burds have been hen-ocided since Trump was elected. This works out to about 282k hens killed per day under Trump.

There were 150 million burds personally choked to death by Biden’s skeleton-hands, but he did it over 1,085 days by calculations, so he personally slaughtered 138k hens per day.

That MEANS that more hens were choked to death by Biden per day, than were humanely killed by the skillful, manly and virile hands of President Donald Trump, peace be upon him.

But, none of this matters because they’re probably lying to us about all of this, right? SO we can believe the conspiracy absolutely without consulting our conscience or our sense of intellectual honesty.

Also, people are still saying avian flu is just as fake as the coronavirus, when Trump’s Ag secretary has already said they will continue the policies of hen culling in order to combat avian flu in the chickens.

Maybe she’s an evil conspirator as well.