It has been quite a day. In case you didn’t know, or didn’t care, and I would envy you, the president has turned on Elon Musk and he has turned on the president and it’s a whole thing on Twitter, which is owned by Elon and he changed its name to something stupid.
Anyway, I did a wrap up of what happened. SO, you see what happened was:
Woah. Right into the Epstein files! And then he started tweeted about all the times Trump hung out with Jeffrey Epstein. The pedophile who killed himself in prison.
So then this happened!
MUSK: Impeach Trump!
MUSK: No space station for you!
BANNON: DEPORT MUSK!!
KANYE: Stop bros!
MUSK: Hail President Vance!
MUSK: Trump tariffs will lead to recession!!
Then a third update got really spicy!!
Steve Bannon: Trump must SEIZE control of SpaceX!
Rep Nehls: Musk you lost your damn mind!
Speaker Johnson: I texted Elon.
Rep Massie: The bill is on life support
Rep Roy: Elon crossed the line today
WH press sec: This is unfortunate
Fox News: No news today!
Tesla: I am down. 15% down.
Truth Social: There are no truths.
Musk: HE started it!!!
Yep. Quite the breakup.
Anyway Twitter had some incredible jokes. Here they are, I stole them:
If Trump and Elon divorce who gets custody of catturd?
— Dr. Richard Harambe (@Richard_Harambe) June 5, 2025
BREAKING: Vladimir Putin has offered to negotiate a peace deal between President Trump and Elon Musk
— Whale Psychiatrist ™️ (@k_ovfefe2) June 5, 2025
Thoughts and prayers to the influencers who are currently navigating this challenging moment as their two dads fight
— Pedro L. Gonzalez (@emeriticus) June 5, 2025
This messy Trump-Musk breakup is truly the gayest thing about pride month
— Josh Sorbe (@joshsorbe) June 5, 2025
Hillary, what are they doing? https://t.co/xdWUKmNGyd pic.twitter.com/8IUqhGBz9N
— Bad Hombre (@joma_gc) June 5, 2025
Elon no! pic.twitter.com/5qye3EFWOz
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) June 5, 2025
imagine being the ICE agents suiting up for your biggest mission of all time right now
— Will Stancil (@whstancil) June 5, 2025
“Now say ‘nobody wants to buy EVs anyway’.” pic.twitter.com/WY6ORhxNdj
— The Drunk Republican (@DrunkRepub) June 5, 2025
dammit, now what am I gonna do with this? pic.twitter.com/zJCergppLR
— Rory Johnston (@Rory_Johnston) June 5, 2025
There is literally only one way this ends:
With Elon impregnating one of the Trump girls.
— Pradheep J. Shanker, M.D. (@neoavatara) June 5, 2025
The bright side for Elon is he likely defunded the department that would’ve had him assassinated
— Dan Carney (@DanManCarney) June 5, 2025
Elon gets to keep the libertarians, crypto and tech bros in the divorce. Trump gets the boomers, natcons, and vibe shifters. Who keeps MAHA?
— Maggie (@maggiemoda) June 5, 2025
Possible endgames for the Trump/Musk feud, in escalating order:
-Strongly worded tweets eventually stop
-All Musk subsidies/contracts scrapped
-Musk flees the country
-Space Force destroys Starlink satellites
-Air Force nukes Starbase
— Dominic Pino (@DominicJPino) June 5, 2025
Trump’s gonna come out say it really *was* a Nazi salute after all, isn’t he?
— Guy Benson (@guypbenson) June 5, 2025
Slow news day, what are we even going to talk about? @TheoVon pic.twitter.com/LVmtK219Dt
— JD Vance (@JDVance) June 6, 2025
Elon waking up from his drug binge to find himself on a plane to El Salvador like the opening Skyrim cutscene.
— Comrade Stump (@GranTorinoDSA) June 5, 2025
And one of mine for no reason:
My white house sources say Trump has written a tweet and is about to deploy: "Elon did 9eleven with Rosie Odonnel."
— ¡El SooperMexican! ن c137 🦬 (@SooperMexican) June 5, 2025
OK that’s enough for now, I’ll go get some more! Oh boy how fun!!