Occupy Wall Street

The Occupy Guitarmy’s 99-Morons Death March: Day THREE

The third day in the 99-Moron March from Philadelphia to Wall Street.

Read previous entries: First day, Second day.

Our peek into an occupier’s diary:


9:00 AM: We woke up this morning and they fed us slop for breakfast. I realize that these people are just volunteers, but can’t we find like, volunteers that know how to cook?!

10:00 AM: There was a big general meeting to discuss our plans and stuff.  Although we’re no where near our goal, I think we’re really getting something done, something that may change the world. I mean, there were a lot of twinkles at this meeting. A LOT.

This shirtless guy with a lisp said, “This is the most capable group of people I’ve ever met. This is seriously like the creme de la creme of the country” and I totally agree with him. I’ve never felt more like capable and creme-like in my life.

Our facilitators are awesome! I think they’re brother and sister because they kinda look alike, especially with their weird hair. Except they’re kinda too touchy-feely to be related. Whatever, that’s all a societal construct imposed on us by Catholic weirdo extremists.

There was this really weird woman who happened to be.. uhm.. you know.. black.. afro… uhm.. colored, no that doesn’t sound right.. afro-black-american? She was like totally crazy and called us all racists!! How could we be racists?! Some of my  parent’s servants have friends who are black!! That is so ridiculous.


Crazy afro-black-lady is in the white tank top.

People were talking about money, and how we don’t have any but I don’t see why that should matter. We have people power! And money is evil anyway. Also they said something about a tropical storm? We’re not metro-zoo-logicists, what do we care? People need to focus more.

We’re going to march 4 miles to Trenton today, starting at 3pm.

5:30 PM: So we finally took off. Apparently the fascist Quakers who own our park kicked us out just because we got drunk and broke stuff. Good luck with your attachment to material things, jerks!

7:23 PM: Cars keep honking at us to get out of the way, or flipping us off!! Don’t they understand that we’re fighting the patriarchy and colonial oppression that keeps them guzzling foreign oil and filling the pockets of the Jews?! I mean, banksters?!

7:00 PM: When we got into Trenton it was great – we were chanting and yelling and all the cars were honking at us. Then it got really dark, and started to rain. When one of the guys looked at the weather report, he said the thunderstorm (why didn’t anyone mention this before?!) would pass us by in 45 minutes, so we stood out there, laughing.


Then the storm hit.

It was awful!! There were like winds and it rained, and we all freaked out! That’s when some guy with a lisp said, “It’s not gonna last 45 minutes, it’s gonna last four hours! I don’t know who said that…” Half of the group ran off for someone’s home and the others stayed and didn’t know what to do, it was really scary! There were people putting on trashbags to protect themselves from the rain! I wish I had a trash bag.

Eventually we ended up beneath an overhang of a school trying to figure out what to do. The Occupy Marines group said they would put us up in hotel rooms but some of the occupiers said that they didn’t want to give Hilton hotels any money, but I really needed a shower!

8:00 PM: Someone ordered pizzas for us while we waited for hotels. I really wish someone had planned for bad weather!! I picked out all the songs for the chanting, so I’m really angry because someone else didn’t do their part, and I did mine!

9:00 PM: Well, we didn’t get any hotel rooms. Was it just a joke?! Whatever. We’re going to have to sleep outside of banks, and some of us inside the Occupy Trenton office but it’s like tiny in there! I swear, it’s smaller than my parents’ servant rooms!! How awful!!

We’re gonna sleep outside in front of the banks. In Trenton. I mean.. what’s the worst that could happen, right?!


Quite an amazing diary. And in case you think my parody is far off – check out this REAL DIARY of an occupier on the event that I discovered late tonight… it’s hilarious how similar it is to my mocking [emphasis added]:

I found out about the march on my way up to the NatGat.  Wasn’t quite prepared for it at all but knew the moment I heard about it that I must go.  I’m on the third day now.  It’s 11:44 pm and I’m leaning up against the wall of a strange building in Trenton, NJ.  

The first day was hard.  It was 100+ degrees and we marched 15 miles.  I spent the last of my cash to keep my phone on and didn’t have much to eat.  Breakfast that morning consisted of a granola bar and green super food (you put it in water and drink it- like liquid veggies).  Later throughout the march, some wonderful ladies passed out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and that was all i had to eat for the day.  I chanted/sang my ass off and wore myself out a little more than I knew.  As soon as we landed at the farm I set up the tent and passed out- which meant I missed dinner.  The next morning I awoke and found breakfast to be oatmeal and fruit.  After marching 15 miles on peanut butter and jelly I needed protein- bad.  They ran out of eggs before i woke up- which was pretty early-  8:45… but not early enough.  Within about 2 hours I had a major breakdown.  I asked for more food and was told to be more self reliant.  

Yeah so I am broke.

It’s not fun to be broke and maybe I should not have come on this journey with no money but my heart led me here…  and i didn’t expect resources to be so low.  I wish I had done more fundraising for this.  I wish I could fundraise for myself…  I screwed that up a while ago…

So anyways, I actually slammed a door and ran off crying because I was so offended that I was being told to be self reliant when I was in such a state of exhaustion and hunger- especially after how much work I have done for this movement and how much I put INTO this march.  I go and hide in my tent and BAWL.  Next thing I know a few different people are at my tent, bringing me *more* peanut butter and jelly, lemonade and chips….  Another woman brings me a piece of cheese- what I originally asked for.  I eat it all and pass out for most of the day.  Needless to say I missed the march.  They went 18 miles.  And it was hot, hot hot out there.  

That night we all had a big concert/jam session but I was not really feeling well still.  I passed out and woke up this morning and ate eggs very happily.  We had a torturously long GA where we all mostly complained and got almost nothing done, regarding solutions.  And there is a very mentally ill woman causing a bit more trouble than we need right now…  It is quite hard to know how to deal with her in a loving way.  

Right now I am about to pass out…. We are getting SO much positive feedback from people on the road and I can tell what we are doing is GOOD and essential right now for this country.  We are planting seeds of courage and change.  As hard as this journey had been for me- physically, it is absolutely worth it.

C’mon, someone pat me on the back… I totally nailed the ludicrous nature of this 99-moron-march with my parody.

*pat pat pat*


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