Occupy Wall Street

The Occupy Guitarmy’s 99-Morons Death March: Day FIVE

The fifth day in the 99-Moron March from Philadelphia to Wall Street.

Read previous entries: First Day, Second Day, Third Day, Fourth Day.


And now, our peek into an occupier’s diary:


8:00 AM: There’s a couple of really annoying people here to keep demanding we leave early… what the hell? It’s not like Wall Street is going anywhere! It’s going to be there for a thousand years!!! I mean.. until we.. destroy it.

Everybody is all upset with me because of my blogposts – I thought we were supposed to be like.. transparent or something?! They told me not to talk about the bad things anymore. So only positivity now!! They’re going to read all my posts and edit them to make sure I stay positive, so the evil right-wing fascists don’t use the truth against us, or something. Makes sense.

1:50 PM: I’m so glad we’re picking up trash on the way to NYC!!!

This garbage will look awesome when we dump in front of Wall Street! I can’t wait to see those banksters in their nice suits picking up our trash! Haw haw!!

2:20 PM: I heard one of the livestreamers say the most disgusting thing: “I’m switching from refillable bottles to water bottles because, well, my metal bottle smells worse than my feet at this point. I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep drinking out of it.” Eww! I haven’t even tried to smell my feet, they’re so bad, so I can’t imagine what his smell like! Though I do accidentally get a whiff each morning…

3:00 PM These people are so stupid. Some moron yelled at us: “Instead of marching, why don’t you get a job? Read a book!” I’ve read plenty of books. I got through half of A People’s History of the United States, which I hear is the best part anyway, and I flipped through tons of the books at the People’s Library. People are so dumb.

3:30 PM: Some jerk on a motorcycle called us “Hippie Fascists”!!! Us! That’s so stupid. We’re the ones who call everyone else fascist! Why would we be fascist?! Then we would be calling them us!! These people are so stupid. They shouldn’t be allowed to vote or say stuff.

4:00 PM: Ugh, they just told us we’re going to sleep in someone’s backyard. I bet we’re going to have to check for ticks afterward just like at lunch. Nature is stupid.

6:30 PM: This was really stupid. One of our protesters starting walking in the middle of the street to force cars to drive around him. It was so funny! But then some of the others started acting like my MOM and nagging him, “There’s an accident that’s gonna make us look really bad, please?”

Like OH MY GAW, we’re protesters! We do what we want!!!

Look, MOMS out there, I know that the streets are really narrow in Jersey because they have a Republican fascist for a governor. But they’re OUR streets. We even have a chant about it. DUH. 

One of the MOMS with us said, “It’s not about taking away your rights, you’re gonna cause someone to have an accident and you’re going to ruin someone’s life.  Because you choose to walk in the middle of the road, someone is not going to be able to walk for the rest of their life, which is a basic human right!

Well, ok I can’t argue with that. Walking IS a basic human right. But walking in the middle of the road is ALSO a basic human right. I think.

A sooper-brilliant guy said, “Stop acting like cars don’t have brakes. Can we stop acting like cars don’t have brakes?” Ugh he’s so awesome. I’m inviting him to my tent later. To uhm… discuss meta-psychics…

6:00 PM: Ugh.. they just said we have 7 or 8 miles to go! I can’t believe it… this is worse than that time I lost the remote control to my big screen TV at home and had to keep getting up to change channels!


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What another exciting diary entry! Stay tuned for more!!!

Just in case you needed your definition of “relevant” not to include anyone paying attention:

It’s small. It’s ignored by almost everyone but twittertrolls. & it may just be one of most important #OWS actions to date>> @99MileMarch<<

— OccupyBayStreet (@OccupyBayStreet) July 9, 2012

T.J. Bynes did a great job filling out the details in my Parody.

If you want to see video of the event I dramatized above, go here.

By the way… I’m getting lots of threats and insults from these people... must be doing something right!!


And at Twitchy Politics:
Conservatives take over Occupy National Gathering hashtag