Occupy Wall Street

The Occupy Guitarmy’s 99-Morons Death March: Day SIX & SEVEN

Finally! The odyssey ends! The sixth and seventh days in the 99-Moron March from Philadelphia to Wall Street.

Read previous entries: First Day, Second Day, Third Day, Fourth Day, Fifth Day.


And now, our last peek into an occupier’s diary:


7:30 AM: Wow, we’re gonna try to make it to Staten Island today. I hope they’ve planned everything in advance?

9:00 AM: We picked up a new guy! He says he left Philadelphia 2 months ago and he’s gonna march with us into New York! That doesn’t really make sense does it?! He’s really popular because he doesn’t smell as bad as the rest of us! I mean.. he smells bad. But we smell really bad! 

9:30 AM: Like, Oh my GAW – Someone stole one of the livestreamer’s ipad chargers! I bet it was some fascist republican. The only thing I can’t figure out is how they got into the party where it was plugged in?! I can sense a right-winger from a mile away! Today when I heard that we were going to be camping outside again tonight, I started to cry… but I’m so dehydrated, I just couldn’t spare the moisture! So I dry-heave-cried. The next open door I see, I’m going to angrily slam SO HARD!

8:00 PM: More cops!! Ugh! I can’t wait for the anarchist utopia we’re planning – everything will be peaceful and wonderful once we get rid of all the cops. They’re the ones who start all the violence, right?

8:15 PM: Why don’t the pigs like us?! I hate the pigs!!!

We always try to be respectful to the fascist nazi pig cops!! I just don’t get it. When I’m screaming at them in my most high-pitched annoying screech that they are pigs, I wonder, “don’t they understand we’re doing this for them?!” Weird.

8:30 PM: The pigs stopped the Wikileaks truck!! And guess what the cops did – they SMILED at them… ugh. Mooseuhleeni’s THUGS did that to the… Albanians or whatever. PURE FASCISM.


9:00 PM: We tried to mess with the cops but we ended up trapped in a parking lot. They said all the livestreams got shut down at the same time.  The cops HAD to have done it, right? Have you ever been in a place where 3 different phones lost reception at the same time?! Yeah. NO. You haven’t. Because the cops are fascists and they’re shutting down our internet. Because fascism.

Like JRoz says,  “once they shut down the internet it’s revolution man.” Because everyone is on the internet. And all sorts of people will die. How will people ask on twitter for free food and water if the internet is down? That’s how evil the cops are. They want everyone to DIE!!

10:00 PM: We finally made it to the house where we’re staying. It’s ok. Whatever. There’s only like 2 bathrooms here. For like 150 people. What are they thinking?! Some people are so dumb.

We made into the news again! I read in there that the “purpose of the march is to raise awareness about the slashing of funds allotted to music education.” Wow! I didn’t know that! No one has talked about it at all! I thought we were just like.. y’know.. doing regular Occupy stuff. I didn’t know we had a reason for it!

11:00 PM This is like, the greatest quote from an occupier, or like anyone ever: “Fuck cops for fuckin’ fucking with us.” Someone else described this incredible experience as,  “It’s all at once, the coolest and the lamest thing I’ve ever done.” Yeah. Coolest lame thing.

And then we slept on the floor.




3:45 PM: When we walked into Zucotti park I was really surprised. There were hardly any people there. I mean I know I’m supposed to be all positive and wahtever since I got in trouble but like, we walked 99 miles to get here, and the least those lazy asses could’ve done is shown up!


5:00 PM: Some weirdos from Occupy Catholics asked to wash our feet?! It was really nice of people to volunteer to let them perform their odd little ritual… is that like a Mormon thing or something?!

5:30 PM: Who invited the fear-mongering pigs?!?! All they do is mong fear. Or mung? Yeah. Mung. Stop munging fear, cops!!

You know, this guy sure yelled a lot, but he actually looks peaceful and happy in this picture!!

Aw they’re holding hands! PEACE!!

5:40 PM: People are saying that 150 people walked from Philadelphia to NYC?!?! Where the hell were all those people?! I’m not that great at counting but I don’t remember there being that many! Was there another… I mean TWO other groups marching!?

They must be using weird numbers because there are not hundreds in Zucotti park either! I’m soo confused!

6:00 PM: There are littorally tens and tens of people!!

7:00 PM: I saw this on facebook – the cops must have beaten up the entire guitarmy except me! I missed it! Was it the 60 actual guitarmy people, or the 150 that people keep saying marched with us? All these numbers are confusing!!

8:00 PM: These fascist Nazi pig cops are munging fear by arresting people for like NO GOOD REASON! One livestreamer guy was just yelling at him that he was a pig over and over, and the cop arrests him!! And I heard that they shoved some 165-year old lady – I think it was his MOM! Wow! They are acting  just like the Nazis did!!

8:15 PM: The cops are jerks! They always aim at the smallest, most vulnerable of the occupiers, like in this video!!!

11:00 PM: Eventually everything died down. A bunch of people were arrested. I’m pretty sure EVERYONE was beaten up. Except me. I’m really lucky.

And this was how the night ended… outside the police station, waiting for them to release our arrested friends.

So that’s it! That’s the guitarmy experience!! Most of it is true, except I skipped all the bad stuff because I didn’t want to get in trouble! Go anarchy and socialism or something!!

 ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~


At Twitchy Politics:
Conservatives take over Occupy National Gathering hashtag