Alec Baldwin not “horny” enough to run for Mayor

Well, Mexicans might be raping California, but New York City at least, has been saved by one, brave, handsome, witty and intelligent Conservative Mexyman. That would be me!

There’s all sorts of terrible things happening in the world, like the deaths of Christopher Hitchens and Vaclav Havel, and the collapse of Iraq into chaos, but as a distraction from all that, I offer you this little bit of mexcellent news:

Alec Baldwin Rules Out NYC Mayoral Run, Cites Lack of Horniness

Yes, it seems that all the liberal ranting and general insanity of the last few weeks have caught up to our poor fat-headed friend, and taken away his spirited determination to fix New York City! Or maybe all that Occupying Onanism just spent his vital fluids?

“I’ve got a good job,” he said. “Is it the most creative thing in the world? … Am I doing some edgy, like finely chiseled social drama? No. Am I doing ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’? No. I’m doing a sitcom. But we have fun, and it’s a family.”

“Give this up for what?” he continued. “I give up money and fame and position and success; I give up this wonderful life I have now in exchange for the chance to really change things? Yeah, I’m not quite sure you can anymore.”

Heady words from a bi-polar liberal elitist. I guess things are only worth changing as long as it doesn’t threaten your wealth and fame! Just like the Founders and Occupy Wall Street protesters advocated!

Poor Alec, we all feel so sorry that he won’t be able to turn leftist socialist New York City further into uh, well… a  farther left socialist state.

Only four months ago, he was making plans to enroll in a masters program in Government to ensure he knew how to tackle all of New York’s problems, because really, you should choose to run before you figure out why.

Just like Michael Moore, it doesn’t matter how rich Alec is, because it’s the thought that counts, of course:

“There are people who make a lot of money who become rich people, and then there are people who make a lot of money, but they don’t think like rich people do,” he said. “No matter how much money they have, they are the same from their own upbringing. I would definitely put myself in the latter class.”

He added, “What I think the government should be doing, who I think government should be serving, and in what way and what it should be prioritizing is a lot different than people would think.”

This can be taken either as people think they know his positions and they don’t, or that his political positions are different from most people. So, he isn’t the liberal hypocritical elitist that has made his leftist political cleanings idiotically clear over and over again? Or, he thinks that he should be able to impose his political policies, which he hasn’t studied yet, on everyone despite the fact that most don’t agree with him.

I hope they teach what a Representational Democracy means in that masters course!

That was intended as a sarcastic joke, but now that I think about it…

Ah well, none of that glorious imbecilic future will come to pass! How sad. Maybe it’s because he foresaw what would happen, and it happened sooner and harder than he had imagined:

“I am someone who is fully prepared for the fact that I could go into this and do it and completely have my ass kicked,” he said. “I could throw a party and no one could come. And it would be this staggering lesson for me.”

Well Alec’s ass got kicked, but somehow, I doubt he learned the lesson.

Merry Christmas, New York City! You owe me one!

 

My previous posts about my twitter brawls with Alec Baldwin:

Read the first exchange HERE.

Read the second exchange HERE.

Watch Fox News Channel talk about it HERE.

Who was he playing on Words with Friends? Find out HERE!

And how he mocked America’s moms: CLICK HERE!