Occupy Wall Street

The Occupy Guitarmy’s 99-Morons Death March: Day FOUR

The fourth day in the 99-Moron March from Philadelphia to Wall Street.

Some of the morons on the march got very upset at my posts, and my citing of the other diarist, who responded:

got some haters on twitter making fun of my last post
i will be focusing a bit more on positivity now
as there have not been many problems other than what i spoke of the first two days
and i am having the time of my life
will charge computer hopefully soon and give these guys more to make fun of

They also made some vague threats and insults at me, I guess thinking that would make me stop? Well, I tried to stick to the high road, but they decided to keep going, so, here we are…

Read previous entries: First Day, Second Day, Third Day.

UPDATE: See end of post – Occupiers delete video evidence of their idiocy!

Our peek into an occupier’s diary:


8:00 AM: We were supposed to get up early and leave by eight’o’clock, but forget that. It’s like we’re slaves. We mostly slept in. I mean, not really in, since we were sleeping outside in front of the bank. We slept.. out.

This was my bed:

9:20 AM: They forced us to start walking again. Marching sucks.

  The plan is to get to Princeton, which google says is 11 miles away but the organizers say is 17 miles away. I think they’re trying to make it like a bigger deal.

10:00 AM: One of the more annoying things is how no one cares about our precious ideals . It’s ugly…. People are actually going to WALMART, the smiley demon of capitalism!!

And everyone is drinking out of water bottles!! It’s awful! They should really call the police and have them bring us refillable water bottles. I mean, it’s for the earth! And the cops are supposed to serve, right? Fascist pigs.

12:00 AM: We found a nice old lady who seemed a little crazy, but she said we could have lunch on her lawn!! Finally someone who appreciates our struggle to free her from the bonds of capitalism!!!

12:05 AM: Oh crap… I think crazy old lady really was a crazy old lady!

We had to leave or get arrested!! RACISTS!! That land was stolen from Guatemalans or something anyway like 80 years ago! They should be happy to let us eat there and redeem it from all the blood and stuff that’s happened there! They’re so Fascisty!

1:30 PM: We finally found a place to have lunch. It kinda sucked. I almost stormed off in a huff, but there’s no where to go. So I ate the granola bars and green goulash.

What a beautiful sight!! I can’t wait till we occupy everything and the rest of the world looks just like this!! yay!

One of the other occupiers showed me his tattoo of the word “occupy” on the inside of his lip!! How awesome is that?! I would get one too, but I’d have to have the one removed that says “Friendster” on it. What was I thinking?!

This was a funny hat this guy had! How funny! After he showed me, he wanted to impress me with something and said, “do you see a copcar around here anywhere?” I didn’t, so he said he’d wait to show me tomorrow. I’m so excited! I wonder what he’s gonna do!!

2:00 PM: Wow! We got the most coverage we’ve had since we started! A local newspaper!!! I bet we’ll have tens and tens of readers! Maybe two! Tens. Two tens. Of readers.

3:00 PM: It’s a darn good thing we planned so much for the right kind of songs! We would have felt really stupid if we had planned for anything else! Also, singing is hard work!! I hope all you wage-slaves and supposedly “employed” people appreciate how hard we’re working for you!!

3:30 PM: After our short lunch they started pushing us to march again. How lame. Anyway we left…

Hahahah! She says she doesn’t really have a job, she’s just trying to make a point. I get it! I totally get it!

10:20 PM: Oh My GAIA you will not believe what happened to us!! We were so happy when we got to the Trinity Episcopal Church!! We were going to have beds and showers and food! It was about 6’o’clock. So we totally walked in, and we thought that they had left food out for us, so we ate it! It was so good! Then we found out it wasn’t for us – it was left out for the Pastor’s son’s party. So. That sucked. Yet another person who didn’t appreciate how much work we’re doing for them!!

So then the Pastor said that he had expected SIXTEEN people not SIXTY people and he like totally freaked out!! So we had to leave and look for a new place to stay and it was like awful! What a jerk! I wonder if Epissedcapaliens are the same as those Nazi Quaker Fascists. Probably. All religious people are the same. Jerks.

So now all of us except 16 are stuck in the woods. I’m cold. I’m hungry. And I’m scared. FOR YOU.

 *  *  *  *  *

By the way, if you think I’m making up this last story, listen to an occupier recount it below:

UPDATE: It looks like livestreamer Jesse Hadden deleted this video! LOL.. So where’s your radical transparency now? What a bunch of hypocrites.

I assure you, that the substantive details in the parody I wrote came from the occupier’s mouth. They DID eat the Pastor’s Son’s food, and they DID screw up the reservations and had to sleep outside in the woods… just shows how really honest you are, right occupiers?

Read more:
Read more at Twitchy Politics:
Conservatives take over Occupy National Gathering hashtag