archeology

Archeologists are putting back together a 2,500 year old Mexican artifact called the ‘Portal the Underworld’!

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This sounds like something out of an Indiana Jones movie, but the early ones when they were cool not the really lame and stupid later ones.

Archeologists are putting back together an artifact from ancient Mexico that is called the PORTAL TO THE UNDERWORLD.

Cue the horror music in the background.

Apparently this thing was ripped out of Mexico by smugglers who broke it apart in the 1950s. It has been displayed at different places for decades before officials agreed in 2023 to deport it back to where it come from, the Chalcatzingo archaeological site in the central highlands of Mexico.

It’s a five foot by five foot artifact carved from volcanic stone and has a cross-like hole in the center that is supposed to be a Jaguar mouth! You can kinda see eyes carved in the top part.

Now keep in mind this thing is NOT Aztec, though I’m sure that’s what everyone is going to call it, just like they keep calling the Aztec calendar the Mayan calendar. The Olmecs were a group of ancient indians in Mexico long before the Aztecs came around, so this is not the same.

So that’s kinda creepy.

I wonder if it’s related to the Mexican creation myth of the first epoch where the legends say the sorcerer god Tezcatlipoca commanded his jaguars to eat all of the people.

Here’s a video about the artifact from last year:

These archeologists are always trynna kill us all.

“The return of the Olmec Cave Mask marked the conclusion of a complex, multi-year investigation conducted by the Office’s Antiquities Trafficking Unit with Homeland Security Investigations-New York,” read a statement from officials in New York. “Through the exceptional cooperation and assistance of Mexican Consul General Islas, the Olmec Cave Mask was seized in May and returned to Mexico City in July.”

“Like many other looted antiquities, the Olmec Cave Mask was broken into several different pieces to make the smuggling process simpler,” said Manhattan District Attorney Alvin L. Bragg, Jr. “After being sent to different museums and private collections across the United States for nearly 60 years, the Cave Mask can finally return to sit with the rest of its companion monuments.”

Now we all die.